(Susanna’s sitting in the chair, working on… something.. Figaro is standing right in front of her. Holding the Countess’s wig- head and the meter stick in his left hand (or right hand if you’re left handed.)
“Se a caso madama, la notte ti chiama,” (curtsey) “la notte ti chiama.”
At the orchestra repetitions of ‘din din’ snaps fingers along with the orchestra. At “in due passi da quella puoi gir.” Figaro marches over to the table and puts the Countess’s wig so he can get the Count’s. Turns back to Susanna and says: Vien poi l'occasione, che vuolmi il padrone,” (bow) che vuolmi il padrone.” Bang the meter stick on the floor in time with the orchestra. “Don don, don don.In tre salti lo vado a servir.”
Susanna gets up from her chair. “Così se il mattino il caro Contino,” sarcastically bows like a man “il caro Contino,”
“din din” take two steps forward toward Figaro.
“din din” another two steps…
“e ti manda tre miglia lontan,” walk however much distance is left until you get to the table.
“Din din” Pick up the female wig.
“Don don.” Push it into Figaro’s crotch.
“don don; a mia porta il diavol lo porta, ed ecco in tre salti” Throws head at Figaro, misses.
“Susanna pian, pian. Susanna pian, pian.” Susanna should gesticulate madly at him through this scene, Figaro should be standing over her trying to calm her, gradually turning into him trying to order her. At the last ‘pian pian!’ He restrains her from her arms.
“Ascolta!” “Va presto!” Bark it at each other.
“Se udir brami il resto, se udir brami il resto, (grab him and hug him) “discaccia i sospetti che torto mi fan.”
:Udir bramo il resto, (walk away and sit in the chair) Udir bramo il resto. (put head in hand) I dubbi, i sospetti gelare mi fan.”
Susanna goes up to him and holds him from behind. Stay in this position for the rest of the duet.