33 BC: At the Court of the Sanhedrin
1. Shemayah and Avtalyon, heads of the Sanhedrin, wrap up Sanhedrin business and finish another meeting of the full court. Their fellow elders line up to say goodbye to them. After they leave, the two stay behind, as they always do, to plan the next day's agenda. But every day, before they do, they daven (chant) the Vidui together - the confessional. Just as they begin to recite it, Avtalyon breaks down in tears again. It had been a number of months since either of them did, but this is the third time in two weeks week that Avtalyon has. The weight of their crime, their forced murder of their fellow 68 Sanhedrin, weighs on them both. "Every day, I see their faces: Enosh over there, Kenan over here, Lamech and Mehallel getting into fights right where we're standing. "It's best you don't think about it." "It's impossible NOT to think about!" "Avtalyon they're with me every day too, but they're not as judgmental as you think they are." "God is judgmental!" "Then let God judge!" "How could he not have stopped us?" "How could he not have stopped a hundred things before us?" "We are the greatest criminals in Jewish history!" "We are so far from the greatest criminals in Jewish history." "We killed our whole people's leadership!" "Herod killed our whole people's leadership, we just held the swords." "Then we're nothing but the arms of Herod!" "You've just figured this out?" "Then we're not leaders at all!" "We ARE leaders! We were the begging children of converts and now we're the Rosh Sanhedrin protecting the people who hated us from an insane leader who wants to kill them! That's leadership and we don't have time to mourn!..." (Shemaya waits a beat then says) "Some days they shout at me and point to me with red eyes and grey skin, like Shmuel announcing Shaul's doom, and some days they seem to understand what I've done and say 'Shemikeh, we get it!' There isn't a day when I don't see their ghosts peaking out around all our friends and enemies in those chairs, but the more we work, the less I see them, and the more freindlich they seem when they come to me."
2. Shemayah calls in his assistant, Hillel, who, as usual, looks at him snarlingly, as Shemayah killed his father and grandfather. Tells Hillel that he is changing his duties. Until now, Herod's own guard would fetch the claimants for Sanhedrin hearings, but Herod is withdrawing his guardianship, so it falls to Hillel and his fellow pages to fetch them. As assistant to the President, it falls to Hillel to organize these trips, and he must keep a roster of addresses. "You can look that sullen in front of us Hillel, but a future Rosh Sanhedrin needs to be freylich in front of everybody else." Hillel leaves. Avtalyon says "We have to replace him. He knows what we did to his father..." "Of course he knows what we did to his father! We did it to his grandfather too!" "Then we have to replace him right away!" "Are you meshuggeh?! Then everybody will ask why we replaced him!" "I've got to leave the Sanhedrin." "You know that the only way you're leaving this job is without your head." "Better dead than this!" "You want Herod to kill every Judean? Let him put another son of Ishmael in your job. He'll start with all your sons and nephews." "Oh my god can you just let me complain." "You're responsible for keeping the entire Judean people alive, and they're all complaining! You don't get to!" "No you don't understand. You haven't seen Herod's latest letter. We'll be here all night."
3. Herod has sent Avtalyon a letter from Masada stating that he will be returning shortly and they need a ruling drafted upon his return. Cleopatra is scheming again to try to bring back the Judean people into slavery, and has used her Judean holdings in balsam to flood the market and ruin Nabathea's balsam, it's biggest export, and since her source is Jericho, the Nabatheans are preparing for war with the Tribe of Benyamin. Furthermore, Cleopatra is secretly on the side of the Nabatheans, and has sent King Malich a Roman general - Atheneon. Herod believes that this can all be worked to Judea's (re: Herod's) advantage. Since Benjamin is the poorer of the surviving tribes that lo these six years has given Herod so many headaches, it is best to simply cull many Benjaminites from the Judean kingdom. Herod therefore requires a ruling that prevents all other tribes and peoplehoods in Judea from coming to Benyamin's aid - thereby assuring the defeat, ethnic cleansing, and potential annihilation of the entire Benjaminite tribe.... Shemaya puts his head in his hands. "Hashem is not with us..." Sitting in silence, they hear Herod's chariots come to the Sanhedrin building days sooner than expected, along with the footsteps to their door.
4. Herod is very blase about it. "Don't worry, I don't expect you to have a ruling yet. I just thought we could run through some options." Herod is met sullen silence. "Oh come now, this isn't like you both. You've been so good to me these years, I know I can count on you for this." "Sire..." "I know, you're going to beg for Benyamin's life. It's only natural. Didn't Avraham beg for the lives of the Sodomites? If genocide is good enough for Hashem, why shouldn't it be good enough for me?" (Avtalyon) "Your majesty, have the Benyaminites done anything to merit their annihilation?" "I understand Avi, it's not fair. But gold only goes so far when there are too many people who don't have it and are mad they don't." "Surely we can divert some funds from the tem..." "I told you, discussion about the Temple renovations is off-limits. We're in the Roman era, and Romans are builders. If we want gold for poor people like the Benyaminites, we need to build like Romans. A great god deserves a great temple." (Shemaya) "Neither of us doubts that Sire, but this is a very delicate matter." "Romans crucify opponents by the million and this is a delicate matter? We don't have the military for this! It's either let the Benyaminites go to the slaughter or let us all!" "But surely Marc Antony won't..." (Herod gets angry) "Marc Antony may not last the year against Octavian! We have no more allies in Rome." "But once they've taken Benyamin won't they go after the rest of us?" "LEAVE THE MILITARY MATTERS TO ME!" "Sire, I'm sorry, this is just an unprecedented requ..." "This is just what you do! How many times did we agree that the Sanhedrin was corrupt at its core and needed to be cleansed."
5. Hillel knocks on the door and says "I'm sorry Rebbes but these defendants on the list, Joachim and Anne, ((Hillel...), they don't seem to live in Jerusalem anymore (Hillel!......). I spoke to their neighbors and they seem to have moved to Nazareth (HILLEL!)." (Hillel looks up and realizes he's in the presence of the King and immediately bows to the floor.) "Oh get up. I'm not the King here, I'm just a friend talking with his two most important friends." (Hillel hesitantly gets up) Herod: "Your name is Hillel-ben-Gamliel, isn't it?" "Yes." "Whether it's for me or my children, you're gonna be the Rosh Sanhedrin someday." "Thank you your majesty." "Don't thank me. Everybody in Jerusalem knows about the nice Jewish boy Hillel, and everybody remembers your father." "Yes sire." "You're barely fourteen and it's already said by other Rabbis that you're the best teacher in Jerusalem, is it true?" "I try only to be a credit to my students." "See? Fourteen years old and he's already the best politician in Judea. Can you help me teach a lesson to your teachers?" "I don't know if it's my place but if your majesty commands it..." "Come over to me, I want to show them something." (hesitantly) "Yes, your grace." (Hillel walks over to Herod and Herod pulls him into his arm, draws out a dagger and holds it against Hillel's throat.)
6. Shemaya: "Your majesty please, don't do this!" Herod: "You see this nice Jewish boy?" "Yes." "In ten or twenty years he's going to have you killed. Give me the order and I'll take care of this problem right now." "What??" "Hillel, you know what these men did to your father, right?" (Hillel hesitates) "I've only heard rumors, sire." "See? His life is about to end and he still knows the exact right thing to say. Somebody like him can conquer the world and his followers would still think he's a lamb." Shemaya: "My King, please don't do this." "What are you worried about? Until he gets a real following you two are the only men in Judea whose lives aren't in danger. I might be murdered tomorrow, but if you die, I have no legitimacy left." "Your highness, he's just a boy." "Exactly! He's just a boy. Hardly anybody knows about him yet or cares, but he knows that as long as he's alive, he's a threat to you and eventually you'll kill him just like you killed his father!" Avtalyon: "We don't know that he would ever kill anyone." Herod: "But do you really want to take the chance? I can make this problem go away forever years before it ever becomes a problem and now you schlemiels hesitate." Avtalyon: "Your grace, whatever we've done to Hillel, please forgive us." "What's to forgive? You haven't done anything I didn't order you to do, it's what I did to Hillel and what he WILL do to you, and he WILL do it." (Avtalyon breaks down crying) "See? You can't do it; and that's why you need me." (lets Hillel go)
7. "Stop crying Reb Avi. I just solved 20 years of problems for you. Hillel, nu? You're clearly a smart boy. You just saw, these meeskaits can't even kill you when your head's already on the platter! How much less could they have ever killed 70 people if I didn't threaten to kill them and their families if they didn't. Believe me, while they were doing it these prostaks were blubbering more than the dying. Be mad at me, not them." Hillel: "I'm not ma..." Herod: (cutting him off) "Of course you're mad. we're your father's killers, and he was a saint, just like you'll be one day; not like all those kings and queens I have to deal with all the time." "Thank you for honoring my father." "You see, he IS a saint, and he's gonna be loved by Jews long after people stop thinking about how much they hate me. You see nudniks? This is what you do to keep a nation going! You anticipate the problem, and you solve it, whatever unpleasant way you can. (turns around to leave)
8. Geb a cook. I gave you guys the best possible deal. I go out into Jerusalem with you, and every time, you'd think you're the real kings. They don't believe the rumors; as far as they're concerned, you're the last living links to Judah fucking Maccabee! I'm the one they hate, and I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: I LOVE it.
9. Hillel: "You love it?" (Herod laughs at Hillel's confidence): "Oh yes. I really do. Think about this boychik. When's the last time any Judean feared an Idumean? When's the last time any Philistine was taken seriously! Two thousand years of these Zhids giving Palestinians the worst possible deal, and finally, someone has the will to stand up to them. And once I do, I promote two Babylonian mamzers over you and your father to head the only organization that can stop me! And how do I do it? By doing exactly what those Heebs have always done." Hillel: "What have we always done?" "Come on mensch, you're too smart for this. You know the Torah much better than I do. Look at what Yahweh does, look at what he wants, and then tell me, who's followed his example better than I?"
10. Avtalyon: ""SHANDEH KHERPA BOOSHE UN KLEEMA!" Herod: (amusedly incredulous) "What?" "SHAME DISGRACE EMBARRASSMENT AND INFAMY!" (pause, Herod's amused, Shemaya's horrified) "I don't know if you've noticed but that's kinda what we do around here." "We can justify your murders. We can justify your thefts. But THIS COURT WILL NOT JUSTIFY WORSHIPING YOU AS A GOD!" (Herod pauses again) "Avi, come on, as though I could ever dream of being as much of a pig as your god."
11. "SHAME AND DISGRACE AND EMBARRASSMENT AND INFAMY! We should EXCOMMUNICATE YOU!" (Herod pauses again... says indulgently...) "Y'know... I wouldn't do that..." "Do your people truly mean nothing to you?!" "No, they mean everything to me, but if they suffer along the way for the way they made my people suffer, that's kinda nice..." "I know how you work Philistine! Today you say you honor Hashem through murder. Tomorrow it will be putting your statue in the Temple!" "Actually our endgame is putting Roman gods in the temple. Y'know, those people we're trying to be nice to? (without a pause) Haven't we talked about this?" "You've taken away their leaders, you've taken away their money, now you take away their faith?" "(Herod sighs) "Shemaya, I don't have the energy for this. Can you just explain it in a way he'll understand that the whole point of everything we're doing is to bring these Jewish peasants into the negative first century so that the Judeans will have a better life?" "You mean to have yourself worshipped as a God!" "Avi, look around Jerusalem and see the way people bow down to me. I'm already a god, I don't need anybody to call me one." "YOU ARE A HERETIC AND YOU WILL BE PUNISHED BY THE HOLY ONE BLESSED BE HIS NAME IN WHATSOEVER WAY HE CHOOSES!" Shemaya: "AVI ENOUGH ALREADY!" Herod: "No, actually this is kind of refreshing. Nobody but Marianne talks to me this way. We should do this in public, I can show that I welcome disagreement and that you're not just rubber stamps."
12. (brief pause) "Reb Avi, my most valued friend, please understand. I don't want to be worshiped as a god. It's not useful to me. Money is useful, business is useful, power is usefu, and yeah, sometimes murder and slavery is useful. So if we can give the people a few more gods, let them choose which to sacrifice to, make the religion of the Jews closer to the way Romans and Greeks worship, that's useful." "WE WILL NOT WORSHIP THE GODS OF THE EPICUREANS!" (Herod's eyes grow cold) "Reb Avi, you've been a wonderful collaborator, but don't ever say that again." "WE WILL NOT DO IT!" "DON'T SAY THAT AGAIN!" "WE WILL NOT DO IT! WE WILL NOT DO IT! WE WILL NOT DO IT!" (Herod takes out his sword and just barely stops himself from striking Avtalyon) "I SWEAR TO YOU I FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL AND THAT WILL BE THE MOMENT YOUR HEAD COMES OFF!"
13. Avtalyon: "GOD HAS FINALLY SHOWN US WHAT YOU ARE!" Herod: "And what am I?..." "YOU ARE THE TEMPTATION OF SATAN! YOU KILL AND YOU KILL AND YOU KILL, AND FOR WHO'S BENEFIT? GOD'S? YOUR PEOPLE? MINIONS LIKE US? NO! NOT EVEN YOURS! YOU DO IT FOR ROME AND YOU WILL LEAD US BACK INTO EXILE AND LIKE THEY'VE DONE TO A HUNDRED OTHER PEOPLES!" Herod: "Rome's benefit IS our benefit!" Avtalyon: "HASHEM SENT YOU TO THE PEOPLE OF ISRAEL TO TEACH US THE LESSON THAT EVIL IS EVIL AND THERE IS NO LESSER EVIL! (the ground begins to tremble) MURDER IS MURDER AND THE LORD GOD WILL MAKE US PAY FOR WHAT WE'VE LET YOU DO."
(the ground shakes and building collapses with rubble from the ceiling falling on all four of them. Herod digs his way out, and then Hillel, and then Avtalyon and Shemaya.)
14. Herod: Everybody alright? (everybody nods) Nothing broken? (everybody moves their limbs.) Roman Guard: "He's over there! Sire, thank Asclepius you're alright." Herod: "None the worse for wear. Everything's alright.... Though that Rabbi over there was telling me what an asshole I am..." "Should we?..." "Maybe,... he's done us enough good that he gets a free pass for now, though I may change my mind in a few hours..."
15. Herod asks the guards: "What's the damage?" "The palace sustained no damage but three quarters of the Temple has been completely destroyed." (Herod bursts into laughter, then he gives Avtalyon a long hug and a comic Judas kiss - Roger Rabbit style, who is still fuming) Shemaya: "Majesty are you alright?" Herod: "Reb Avi you're even more value to me when you hate me. If you meant to bring down the wrath of the Lord on me you just saved me a lot of money. It would have taken a hundred thousand prutahs just to tear down the old Temple, and you just did it for free. (pause) Mazel Tov, you just saved Benjamin." "What?" "Now we can put that money into a war to save the Benyaminites."
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ONL: Classical Tale 7 - Rededication of the Jerusalem Temple: 23 BC - Inaugural Speech by Rabbi Hillel
Your Majesty Herod the Great, Your Royal Highness Marcus Vipsanius Agrippa, Your Graces of eighteen nations, High Priest Annanel and assembled Cohanim, Conscripted Fathers of the Roman Senate, my illustrious predecessors Rabbi Lord Shemaya-ben-Xerxes and Rabbi Lord Avtalyon-ben-Artaxerxes, my beloved colleagues in the Sanhedrin, Your Excellencies the assembled elders of all twelve tribes, Commanders, Rabbanim, Legates, Dayanim, Tribunes, Chazzanim, Centurions, Shameshes, President and Board of the United Synagogues of Judea, Chair and Distinguished Members of the United Board of Diaspora Synagogues and Communities, Chairs and members of the United Synagogue Brotherhoods, Chairwomen and members of the United Synagogue Sisterhoods, Chair and members of the Jerusalem Earthquake Relief Committee, amalgamated builders of Habonim Dror, indispensable young patrolmen of Hashomer Tza'ir, cherished young people of United Synagogue Youth, B'nai Brith and New Israel Foundation for Temple Youth, to all our wonderful Musicians and Decorative Artisans of this magnificent temple, distinguished guests,
In the beginning, I want to thank Your Royal Highness Marcus Vipsanius Agrippa for the glory of your attendance as your first official act as Governor of Syria. Never before in the history of our people have we been graced with so imperial a presence. It is the greatest possible testimony to the strength of the Roman Empire's unity, and the terrific splendor with which Rome has earned its authority. We are overwhelmed by your greatness. May the Almighty Without End bless you in all the good that you do, and may Rome and Jerusalem continue in partnership for ages to come. Strength, Strength, and we can strengthen one another.
I want to thank our two newly created Lords who shall always be the Rabbis who affected the direction of my life more than all others: Rabbi Lord Shemaya and Rabbi Lord Avtalyon, for the magnificence of their teachings. As Menahem the Essene and I assume the posts of Zugot after the glories of your shockingly exceptional leadership, we can look to your examples: your worldly wisdom, the point of your moral compasses, your intrepid moral bravery, and your redoubtable commitment to the Jewish people. I was with them on the day of the earthquake. And right where you sit Rabbi Lamech ben Mehallel, when it came time to pursue the war against the Nabatheans, Rabbi Lord Avtalyon advocated for the greatest possible commitment to the Benyaminites. He argued with such force that it often seems to me as though he brought down the walls of the Temple and brought down so much of Jerusalem with it. I was there when Rabbi Lord Shemaya would sit in the room of the Sanhedrin and experience his mournful visions of the old Sanhedrin, murdered in cold blood. It is their commitment to the most progressive future for Judea that we owe this bewitchingly gorgeous temple renovation, and to them we owe the commitment to repentance that comes from Herod the Great.
Herod the Great, how deserving you've been of that moniker since your atonement. If you have overcome your inclination and not been overcome by it, you have reason to rejoice. There are no words any among us may provide for the naches of your change, your commitment to rebuilding Jerusalem, rehousing the displaced, providing for the poor. If I may alter a quote from another great king: we are an army of your sheep, lead by a lion!
It is a new day in Judea! Not in eight hundred years has a king had such occasion for wisdom's accumulation, and not even King Solomon could look upon such works you've wrought. Your Majesty is already Herod the Great, but you, our king, have your chance to take your place among the great leaders of our people: Matthias and Judah Maccabee, Mordecai and Queen Esther, Ezra and Nehamia, David and Solomon, Moses and Joshua, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph... Herod...
To those who point out that Herod the Great cannot trace his yichus to Mount Sinai, Abraham nor his issue could neither. To those who point out Herod the Great was not educated in Torah, neither was Moses. A new age for the Jewish people begins with your majesty. You have committed terrible sins, but for seventy years of war and death, so have we all. If our King must repent his foul wickedness, so must we all. The difference between Herod the Great and us is that our land's peace was bought by him. Your Majesty, you have resurrected our people, and to you now falls the hard part: the challenge of keeping the Jewish people strong in a modern world where so many forces can pull us apart.
The prophet Isaiah said: "Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth, shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert."
And therefore I put to you all three questions addressed to three different bodies.
The first body is you, the Jewish people: If our illustrious king, Herod the Great, was not for himself, whom among us would have been for him? Herod the Great came from tiny circumstances. Not a century ago his family converted to our faith by the sword, and his grandfather Antipa an Edomite fisherman in the Gulf of Aqaba. The People of Esau and Ishmael have an honored place as our brothers and neighbors, and we all must work so that one day, all the Peoples of the Book will live together in peaceful accord. Herod the Great is a model to our young of how to collaborate with people different from us and a model to us all of individual initiative.
The second body is the Jewish State, and the incarnation of us all in its sovereign, Herod the Great. Your Majesty, with all modesty and good intent, I ask you as I have many times in private: if your royal self is only for yourself, who are you? The people of Judea have seen and survived so much. Our peoplehood is full of as many villains and heroes. We have survived Ramses, we survived Nebuchadnezzar, we survived Haman, we survived Antiochus, we will survive whatever comes, but to your choice comes the challenge of how we may thrive. Just as none are with the High Priest when he enters the Holy of Holiest, no one sits on the Judean throne but you. Responsibility for us all is a burden to only you, Augustus princeps, and God. I therefore hope the High Priest does not mind me paraphrasing him, but may God protect and defend you, our unquestionable King, may the face of God shine upon you and grant you with His grace, may you see the face of God, and may you, our great King, give us peace. Amen.
The third body is us, all of us. King and subject, Rabbi and layman, Jew and Gentile, Hebrew and Roman. I ask of you: "If not now, when." Jerusalem knows peace again. Rome knows peace again. Our Messiah has not come, but the world for which our grandfathers dreamed is here and now. God said through the prophet Isaiah: Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." So I say yet again: if not now, when? Fear is the proof of a degenerate mind. No one develops courage by being happy in their relationships every day. They develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. Whatever comes from God is impossible for man to turn back, and God has given us peace. So yet again let's say together, three times:
If not now, (crowd) when?
(gestures and they say with him) If not now, when?
(gestures and the crowd says themselves) If not now, when?
(Hillel and crowd together) Amen
Caesar Agrippa to the man next to him: Well I don't like that responsa, but I obviously don't speak Hebrew. What did he say?
Assinius Pollio: Nothing particularly treasonous but these Jews have a way of seeming to praise while actually insulting people.
Agrippa: Let's keep an eye on those Rabbis, they could be trouble.
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#8:19 BC: At the Court of the Sanhedrin
1. A meeting of the Sanhedrin. Due to popular demand, Menachem the Essene has finally been replaced as Father of the Court since he is seen as a puppet of Herod. He leaves to found a Yeshiva in Caesaria where Herod diverts a full sixth of the stipends that used to go to the Sanhedrin, which is all the more surprising because the Essenes are supposed to live in luxury.
2. Menachem has been replaced by Rabbi Shammai, a Rosh Yeshiva in the Upper Gallilee town of Sepph, appointed because he's seen as even more liberal and modernizing than Hillel. Shammai says very little in council, and yet he has appointed a whole new generation of his students as members of the Sanhedrin, and while he's seen as a reformer, his students refuse compromise with Hillel, whom they routinely accuse of being as much a stooge to Herod as Menachem. Shammai inevitably dresses them down in front of the full tribunal, yet the accusations against Hillel keep being issued.
3. The current issue before the Sanhedrin is that a group of five young Rabbis come forward with a letter claiming evidence that Herod is siphoning money from Menachem's yeshiva toward the extensions in his own personal palace. "It does not bear Herod's likeness on its seal yet it does bear the seal of the Temple Menorah, which means it comes from the Temple Curia and that it bears some amount of royal imprimatur." "Objection. On the other hand there's no evidence that priests operate with any imprimatur from Herod or his ministers." "On the other hand, don't be a freyer! Herod's high priest is still Ananel and his father is still Master of Coin. Nothing comes out of the Beys HaMikdash without Herod's imprimatur!" (general fracas and grumbling) "This is yet more evidence that Herod has not reformed ("objection?") nor has intention to reform! ("objection,"). He deliberately provoked the Nabatheans and Partheans into war for his own gain ("objection."), he assassinated the entire Maccabee-Hyrcanus dynasty but one heir (Objection.), and deliberately murdered this entire court (Objection!) with the willing consent of Shemaya and Avtalyon may they rest in piece (OBJECTION!). Hillel (bangs gavel): "Do I hear a motion for a half-hour recess?" "Motion granted." "Seconded." "All those in favor?" Few can hear Hillel over the commotion, Hillel bangs the gavel anyway. "The motion passes!" Nobody moves as everyone's shouting. Hillel says to his fellow zug at the front lectern "Shammai, may we confer in my chamber?"
4. Hillel and Shammai enter Hillel's chamber. Hillel immediately turns around: "Can you shtill your guys please?" "What?" "Geb a kook Shammai, you know that The Young Gallileeans can accuse me of whatever they want and I'll take it, I don't care. But once they bring Herod into it they're putting us all..." (Shammai interrupting) "What is it you want me to do?" "I want you to get them to shvayg." "You think I have any power over these guys?" "Stop with the shpiel. They're your bokhers, and I don't know what your goal is in this, but clearly you want them to go after Herod." "They don't need any convincing from anyone to go after Herod." "Most of these guys passed through your Yeshiva at one point or another. I'm not even sure what you stand for, but given what they stand for you..." "Look, I'm new here and you're President Hillel, I'll always defer to you running this place however you think best, but I told both you and Herod that I don't believe a Sanhedrin Father should be an activist. I'm just a shofet who only interferes when I think it's an absolute necessity, and that goes for any case at all." "So you're not standing up with them to denounce Herod... am I to infer from that that you think denunciation of Herod is unnecessary?" "I have no position on this." "You have no position on this? Your position is Father in the House of Judgement and you have no position on our king?" "None." "Why not?" "You can infer anything you like about my non-interference but that doesn't make it true." "Then I'm inferring with reasonable certainty that you believe with absolute faith in the necessity of our King's deposition." "I have no position on that."
5. Hillel: "Well, that settles quite a bit. At the beginning of business tomorrow, I'm putting to vote the removal of Bava-ben-Yehuda, Yochai-bar-Shimon, Hanunnah-ben Yitzhak, and Ravina-ben-Ashi. I assume you have no objections." "None." "Well then..." "Indeed... should we return to the chamber?" "In a moment... may I just inquire, humor me for a second Shammai, is that legend about you true? The one that you made your seven year old son fast during Yom Kippur?" "I have no answer to that." "Very well, shall we go back to the chamber?" "Rabban Hillel, I suppose I have a question too?" "Please." "Is it true what I heard about you at my Yeshiva in Gallilee?" "What did you hear?" "That Hillel, son of Sanhedrin President Gamliel-ben-Yehuda, was forty years old when he began to study Torah?" "Well obviously I'm not forty yet, so no." "Is it true that you, grandson of Royal scribe Rehovam-ben-Yerovam, were a woodchopper so poor that you couldn't afford to study so you climbed to the roof of a Yeshiva?" "Of course not." "But you've heard these stories?" "Maybe something like them once or twice but no." "And it would be beneath you to answer them, yes?" "It would be beneath me to answer them, but these rumors are not circulating around the court because your son fainted during Ne'ilah." "Alright then... is it true that Herod the Great, whom you go to such active lengths to defend, personally held a knife up to your neck when you were barely Bar-Mitzvah age and admitted to ordering the death of your father and grandfather?"
6. "Now I really think we should go back to the chamber." "I heard there's even more to that story." "It didn't take much for you to go from non-activism to hostility." "Rabban Hillel it's not hostility, it's to make the point that once we start interfering, there's no limit to what we have to acknowledge, and there follows a parchment trail." "So you have your students do your dirty work about Herod for you?" "What dirty work? My students have a mind of their own!" "So you admit they're your students." "They were my students." "When did they stop being yours?" "They've never stopped, but do you hold yourself accountable for all your students' ideas?" "Yes, actually, between you and me, if their conduct isn't worthy of what I teach them, I'm very disappointed." "But their conduct is not in question, it's their beliefs." "How is their conduct not indicative of their beliefs?" "Perhaps there's correlation but I do not judge your students, and isn't one of your famous sayings 'Judge not your friend until you stand in his place?'" "I suppose it is, but you've stood as Holy Father of the Sanhedrin for six months, and you see what I deal with every day." "Rabban Hillel, when have I ever not stood up to defend you when your character is slighted?" "You've been exemplary in that regard. I fault you not anything; but in six months, half is done we got done when Menachem the Essene didn't care what I did as long as Herod's associates got what they wanted, so why are you not helping us hear more cases and not deal with still another article of deposition against Herod? People are fighting violently and starving because we won't hear their cases."
7. "It's not our place to solve their problems." "IT'S NOT OUR PLACE TO SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS?!?" "No." "Then let me ask you a further question Holy Father: is the story true that you forced your daughter to give birth under a Sukkah?" "I have no answer." "Is it true?" "I have no answer." "I have it on good authority that it is and you know as well as I do that forcing a woman to give birth anywhere but her own bed is an offense punishable in the Galillee by stoning." "Is the legendarily kind Rabban Hillel threatening me right now?" "It's not a threat, I won't put this in front of the court; but it is undoubtedly a slight against your character that you appear to so care about laws that you have little consideration for your daughter's safety and comfort. Would you like to answer this slight from the legendarily kind Rabban Hillel?" "Well... Mr. President... if you must know, I tore the ceiling down so that her baby could observe Sukkot from the moment he was born." "...I'm sure they both were thrilled..." "I'm sure God was." "God has better things to care about." "God gave us laws so we can follow them." "God gave us laws so we can live better lives." "We live better lives by following His laws." "We live better lives by interpreting His laws in the way that best provides our welfare." "And how's that working Rabban Hillel?" "Well... Holy Father... while I was risking my life trying to assuage Herod the murderer, you were safe in in your Upper Gallilee yeshiva. Everything he did he justified by claiming that our religion is more authoritarian than any measure he adapted, and there were times he was right. But we showed him that Judaism has another way, so yes, I would say it's working pretty well."
8. "And what about when Herod decides that your Jewish liberality is no longer useful?" "Meaning?" "Your liberality is useful when Herod tries to ingratiate our country to Rome for business, but when Rome bleeds Judean resources dry as they do every country they subordinate, and we have to defend ourselves against enslavement, what have we left to defend us?" "When it's time to defend ourselves against Rome, we will defend ourselves with every way we must." "And who will follow you? A people unused to privation? Grown indolent and lazy with your liberality?" "Do not underestimate the lazy. They above all people are sensitive to their circumstances." "And what will we have left to fund their rebellion?" "Well,... emes... but there is always trust in the covenant of Lord to fall back on."
9. "So then you admit you don't have faith in the Lord's covenant." "Reb Shammai! Of course I do... I just have some faith in fellow Jews as well." "And what... evidence... is there that we are as worthy of your faith as God?" "The fact that we have sustained a faith in God's covenant for two thousand years. Not to mention the fact that God clearly has faith enough in us to give the covenant to us." "So you would have us be so indistinct from God that we deserve your faith?" "We are not indistinct from God, but we are made in his image and therefore deserve some small degree of the faith He deserves. We really should go back into the chamber." "Just one more question Rabban, if men deserve some degree of the faith God does, then why have we the chutzpah to punish men when they break laws and not punish God when he breaks his covenant."
10. "So you admit that God sometimes breaks his covenant or have you no position on that too?" "(sighs) ....Emes... but why should we expect him to keep the covenant when we are so unworthy of him?" "How can we expect our people to always be worthy of God if He does not provide the example of how to be worthy of us?" "Rabban, am I suppose to accept you're such an Apikores that you believe the being who created us all is unworthy of us?" "No such heresy as that, but I do not believe our Worthy creator always provides an example, and our laws must make provisions for the emptiness that God refuses to fill." "I bow to you as the Sanhedrin's ultimate authority, but that is still heresy by any precedent set before you." "Then history's arrived at a moment when we set a new precedent." "God is present in every place, and whether we know why he afflicts us, He knows." "Whether God is present, we live our lives without proof of His presence, and we make law to compensate for His silence." "God gave us laws, not men, and our law exists to clarify His meaning." "And how is God's meaning clarified by letting our laymen fight each other and starve?" "Emes again... but if God has the faith in us you say he has, then surely he shows how we are in His likeness by forcing us to confront problems great enough that only a God can solve them." "Emes to you... but why then not put the matter before the court where men can help their fellow men solve challenges so great that they're worthy of gods?" "That is not the purpose of the courts." "What is the purpose then?" "The purpose is to help bring Jews closer to God." "How do you bring Jews closer to God without easing their pain?" "The law not here to ease their pain, nor could it, pain is inherent in humans, and it is because of pain that our flock turns to God and His law."
11. "...not emes, but valid. I finally see the Kadosh Boruch Hu deliberately sent me a worthy partner, who balances my trust in men with trust in Him, but I doubt this partner would ever accord me the same worthiness." "Of course I would." "Then why the facade with the young Rabbis?" "There is no facade. There is only law. I don't control them but these Rabbis are right that King Herod has violated the law so flagrantly." "As opposed to... any other King of Judea or Israel?" "Then history's arrived at a moment when we set a new precedent."
12. (enter Hillel's assistant Zakai) "Rabban! Abba! Please come finally and put a stop to this!" "Stop to...?" "While you were in the chamber the fighting only got worse and eventually the Young Gallileeans stormed out. They began preaching on the Western Wall and are now leading a march of three-hundred Jerusalemites to the King's Palace to call for his abdication." Hillel: "Gevalt!" Shammai: "Shkhitah!" "We have to catch up with them" "Emes."
(they run outside to discover Herod's guards already slaughtering all the insurrectionists.)
13. "This is what happens when you demand clarity." "This is what happens when you allow ambiguity."
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(Hillel and Shammai in Herod's chambers. Herod is standing behind a desk.)
14. Herod: "Father Shammai you're very smart and bold, but I'm moreso." "Thank you sire?" "I should have known that your non-interference was a way to depose me." "It was no such thing." "Tell me, and tell me the truth. Do you believe I should abdicate? The truth." "Yes." "Good, then I won't kill you." "Because if I said no you'd think that I was lying." "We understand each other, Mr. Rabban I think I can work with this guy." "He's quite bright." "My non-interference is a way of letting the law speak for itself." "And by speaking for itself, you mean to show how flagrantly I violate it." "Yes Your Majesty." "As for you, President Hillel, you're the one who should be controlling the Sanhedrin, not this new guy." "They were his recommended appointments!" "And you believed him?!" "We agreed to appoint him because there was nothing in his rulings which indicated his beliefs!"
15. "Rabbi Shammai you've taught me the most valuable lesson I have ever learned in sixteen years as your king." "Thank you sire." "What you've taught me is that Rabbi Hillel is absolutely wrong, and you are absolutely right." "In what sense sire?" "There is no assuming the best in people. If there is any ambiguity about their motives, they are plotting against you. I thank you greatly for your candor Holy Father, you truly are worthy of the office." "You're most welcome sire." "And because of that, your life is safe." "Thank you sire." "GUARDS!" (Herod's guards bring in all five Rabbis who spoke about the letter in the Sanhedrin chamber, all chained and gagged.) "I'm sure you've heard the rumors of how Shemaya and Avtalyon had to kill each of the Sanhedrin while Roman guards held them up." "I have." "Thanks to President Hillel, we are much more enlightened now. You will merely have to choose their method of execution: hanging, garroting, or beheading." (all five Rabbis panic and try to scream in their chains) "I choose for them to be beheaded." "You realize you will have to watch them die." "Of course." "Guards take them away and prepare them for death." (Guards escort the chained Rabbis out)
16. "Rabban Hillel, this man could sleep soundly after killing more men than I ever could, and that's why I trust him; I prefer my enemies right in front of me. This is what comes from your liberal reforms: subversion, revolution, insurrection. The new days for Judea you speak of are over. It's the old days of Joshua and Elijah now. I do not want anyone's worship or statues, but for all our purposes, there is only one God in Judea, and his name is Herod the Great. Thousands of times you will throw yourself at my feet to grant mercy to your people, and I will almost always refuse you. Rav Shammai, men like you are the reason Hillel's dream of peace can never happen, because men like you always want war. War is what you want, and war you shall have. You will be the death of all you mean to save, and even after you cause the murder of all you love, men like you still believe. Come, let's go watch your students die."
(all three men leave Herod's study)
