Dear Nice Lady at Scottrade,

If by any chance you read this, thank you for the twenty-minute explanation of my account. It was very helpful, even though I got lost at minute 4 and never quite recovered. I also have to thank you for looking the other way at our taking more than one pen. After a month-and-a-half in the 'investment business' I'm reasonably sure that the ability to experience the thrill of free-pen-stealing is half the reason people choose one financial company over another. I hope you understand this and are OK with clients being OK with clients finding a way to steal free giveaways.

Warmest Regards,

Evan