A Ranking of Comic Fat Men

John Candy > John Belushi > Chris Farley > John Goodman > Louie Anderson > Zach Galifianaikis > Jack Black > Kevin James

Fat comic actors is something I think about a lot. Further commentary:

John Belushi is such a Boomer icon no other generation knows about that it's difficult to appreciate how funny he was unless you actively go on youtube and watch old clips. The persona of the modern comedic fat man comes from him (though he wasn't that fat), and in many ways he's never been bettered.

John Candy bettered him. He is the gold standard fat man in comedy - versatility of characters played, physical grace, delivery of lines, responsiveness to other actors onscreen, selection of projects, general work ethic, he is truly comedy's fat man among comic fat men.

This list is purely of fat white males because, for better or worse, fat men of color and fat women are not considered for the same roles as fat white men. This is a systemic imbalance that I hope we redress with all due haste.

John Goodman is mostly a serious actor who performed no standup and wrote no skits. He would place much higher if complete performing talent were factored in. This is also why Nathan Lane does not belong on this list at all - he is much more stage performer than even screen actor, let alone comedic fat actor. One can include John Goodman for being one degree of separation, one cannot include Nathan Lane when he is two or three.

Whether or not one finds Jack Black funny, Jack Black will always be Jack Black in whatever role he plays. One either finds his persona as comedic fat man funny, or one doesn't, and once one determines whether you do, there is nothing he does that will make you change your mind.

Chris Farley is, to this day, an underrated performer who was so much smarter and more versatile than he gets credit for being. We never saw the full height of what Chris Farley was capable of giving us. Nevertheless, this is a list of comedic fat men's achievements, not comedic fat men's talents.

John Pinette deserves to be on this list, but he was sadly not well known enough to merit inclusion.

Kevin James should just feel honored to be on this list.

Beginning with Zach Galfianakis, the quality of comic fat men precipitously drops. It is not only because Zach Galfianakis lost weight and kept it off, it is because Zach Galfianakis's brand of avant-garde Andy Kaufmann-esque comedy is inconsistent. Whether on Between Two Ferns or The Hangover or Live at the Purple Onion, his awkwardness is sometimes very very funny, it is sometimes just dull, and both in completely objective, measurable ways.

Louie Anderson is one of the funniest and bravest standup comedians who's ever lived, regardless of weight, but nevertheless, he is always Louie Anderson, even when in cartoon form or playing a woman, and therefore his entire appeal as a performer is tied to his extremely specific persona.

Jonah Hill is a new generation of comedic fat man who does not play by quite the same persona as his forebearers. Whether thin or fat, he must be further evaluated by study of future performances.