When Facebook Becomes Blogging

Again, and yet again, politics have been getting me very seriously down. I'm trying to find anything within myself for optimism in what comes next, but I just can't find it.

Shitposting on facebook is not a life, even in an era when nobody else is living much of a life; and writing about politics isn't much of a life either. Even if you get paid for it, which I obviously don't, the best get it wrong more than 50% of the time and end up looking like idiots. If you're ever read, the whole world can point to risible predictions you made, opinions you've given, and write you off as an idiot or worse for all time.

I'm trying to find the brainpower/willpower to write something deeper, whether a book or music, but getting into the same arguments about politics every day for seven years is not the way to do it. Every new article, every new piece of news, every doublethinkpiece, takes you away from a book you should be reading, every post I write may take me away from a book or piece of music I could be writing that who knows, might be of interest... to some people... someday.... How many new ideas could I have thought through in the time it's taken me to post all those half-dozen old ideas I've tried to hammer here, over and over again? Last night I decided to snooze anybody who chose to share a political meme, and before I knew it an hour had gone by and I'd snoozed seventy people in my feed.

But the problem is the addiction, and the source of the addiction is the attention you know you receive. The simple fact is that every time I've tried to be more thoughtful than the mere drollery/trollery/patrolery/blowholery/assholery of this fucking site, nobody ever gave any inkling that they had any interest in anything I've ever had to say about anything at all. I don't know why all you fuckers listen to me here that would never listen to me anywhere else, this is the one place were I know for absolute certain that I have never done anything worth listening to, but it's the only place where I know there are people who care, and care you do so very, very, very much. And yet anything else I write or do might as well fall into a black hole.

Thank you for caring, genuinely I'm grateful, but the very fact that you care so much on social media and do so little homework anywhere else should be enough to let us know just how fucked we all are.