Thursday, January 28, 2021

Tales from the Old New Land - Tale 2 - Pre-Final Draft

 



Dearest Lavan,


Let me start with the deepest expression of gratitude for taking Yaakov into business. In case I did not make it clear at the wedding, you diffused a family predicament very similar to the tensions of Lot and Abba Betuel, so I knew that your compassion for what Yaakov underwent would be sufficient to assist him without context. I have nothing but gratitude for how you brought Yaakov into the House of Terakh as an untried associate. It takes a lot of trust in divine providence to hope that a free spirited shepherd who hadn’t found himself in his late seventies would get his act together; but even if no one else saw Yaakov’s promise, I knew you couldn’t have picked a better mensch. I worried for years that you wouldn’t see what I see in him because I worry that his father never has. You can’t possibly know the nakhes I’ve taken in reading letters from Yaakov about his success. 


Which makes it doubly abominable that I have to speak to you so plainly, please forgive me for my vexation, just for a moment. I know I told you at the wedding how unfair a trick it was that you pulled on Yaakov in front of his hundred-twenty year old mother - a mother who’d journeyed for six months to kvell over her son marrying the love of his life; and I understand I’m an outsider to your situation, but I feel the need to re-emphasize how it wicked and hard-hearted it was. You gave my son permission to marry Rokhel, you knew Rokhel was the daughter he wanted to marry, and Yaakov swears that all the contracts he signed with you said ‘Rokhel’, not ‘Leyah’. So why then did you think you had the right to give him a different bride than the one he earned?


Yitzhak’s old and blind. We have no adult male in Canaan of proper bloodline to run the corporation but Esav, a son with so much seykhel he sold his birthright for a bowl of soup.  He put half our money into a huge investment on getting a hunt-for-profit license, which he heard a tip will be the next field to be fruitful, but we don’t even have a field for a hundred miles in any direction. I had Eliezer-ibn-Eliezer draw up a report about it. HIs projections showed that big game has a high short-term yield but that the hunting bubble could pop very soon. 


You obviously swindled Yaakov because you find him valuable. I’m so happy Yaakov’s employment worked out as it has, but we need Yaakov to return as soon as possible to run our organization, and he won’t return without Rokhel as his wife. Please, I’m begging you, let him marry Rokhel so we can bring him and his family back to his old mother before she breathes her last.


Barukh Hashem and much love, 


Rivka 


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Dearest Rivka...


It’s been nearly 90 years since you left for Canaan and I still have to remind you to stay out of my business. This is why you never got married until you were 40. I don’t know why you need Yaakov to return so badly. You proudly told me at the wedding of your influence in House Avraham and your improvements in their production, so why then would you need Yaakov? 


So since you claim you’re an accomplished person of business, I will explain all this to you businessman to businessman, though I imagine this is a station in life you’ve earned completely by marriage. I will also explain this situation parent to parent, of which you’ve obviously done an exemplary job at even if you clearly play favorites. Rivka geb a kuk, I don’t know why you or Yaakov would think an eighty-four year old man has any business marrying a girl who’s barely 19, let alone the twelve-year-old she was when Yaakov first kissed her. Yaakov swore he thought she was at least ten years older, but even if she were 22, what the hell is a seventy-seven year old doing proposing to someone more than half a century his junior? I thought I was doing the right thing by separating them and that you’d support me, but please understand, this compromise is win/win for everybody. 


Perhaps you haven’t read the tablets for the last half century but just in case it slipped your mind, the Sumerian Empire collapsed and it almost killed me, Yaakov, Leyah and Rokhel and thousands of ten-thousands more. Let’s also not forget that the whole mess started over that farshtunkiner dispute Avraham got mixed up in over the Valley of Siddim. Yaakov and I just spent the last seven years moving the family out of Ur and re-establishing ourselves in Kharan, An & Enlil and Enki be praised. It’s a miracle we’re alive and we have entirely Yaakov to thank, but neither Yaakov nor I have made much profit by his years with the House of Terakh, and if he wants to profit from his Noah-like feats of labor, he needs to stay another seven years. 


Without whatever angels bless him, there’d be no Terakh House anymore so in spite of his questionable taste in women, the House of Terakh loves Yaakov. He’s a sheep broker with skill by the terracubit, and has it in him to be a visionary in our fields. Maybe a mensch like Yaakov could have found himself sooner had his mother disciplined him more, but he’s exactly the kind of trail smart entrepreneur that’s indispensable to the survival of Terakh House. 


What would Yaakov do in Canaan anyway? It took so much labor to get him out of that desert where the only body of water is more dehydrating than the sand, how long would Yaakov stay if he ever came back? Even a prodigy son like Yaakov would be as helpless as Esav against drought. I guarantee that either Yaakov or his kids will end up in Egypt where the jobs are and there are growth fields.  


And you don’t even need Yaakov! In spite of how abysmally you speak of him, Esav is thriving. I’ve seen your financial statements. Your endowment increases 18% every lunar year, even from what it was when “Yitzhak” was the boss. Your livestock dividend expands every quarter and Esav diversified a whole second arm of your securities by moving House Avraham into big game, where the real money is made.  There’s nothing that Yaakov can do in Khevron that Esav can’t, and what would Yaakov do for House Avraham that he doesn’t do here on a larger scale? 



Incidentally, it was very tactful of you to come to the wedding without your husband, since the whole party would have recognized your husband as Yishmael, who suspiciously disappeared from the House of Terakh eighty years ago, fifty years after he suspiciously came to us. It was clear from the way you spoke about “Yitzhak” that you two are having trouble.


As for Leyah, whenever you meet her again, an’shallah, you’ll understand. She’s lovely in every aspect, and is so much a better embodiment of wife and mother than Rokhel. Yaakov is his grandfather’s grandson in innumerable ways who never stops dreaming extravagantly, but Leyah will talk him down from those heights he always sees. She’s pragmatic, grounded, never makes a fuss, and OK, she has lots of pockmarks from when she had staphylococcus, but you didn’t see what she went through. Before the illness she was just as captivating as Rokhel, but for the rest of her life she’ll have boils on every parasa of her body. She was in excruciating torment when sick and couldn’t leave bed for a year; but she never complained, never screamed, always apologized for inconveniences, and always reminded Rokhel about her incomplete textile weaving - not that Rokhel ever finished... It’s miraculous Leyah’s alive. She always had the most beautiful eyes in the world and no boil could ever revoke them. Not once has that magnificent daughter of mine ever had a suitor, but she has a right to a family as much as Rokhel does, and deserves it much more. Even if Yaakov is not in love with her, they’ve always been friendly and she clearly has feelings for him him. It will be an extraordinary marriage and she will create for him the most marvelous family. Who needs to love their spouse?


Rokhel, on the other hand, is both vexatious of spirit and vexing. She’s unmistakably beautiful, but she’s troublesome and reckless, has an egregious temper, severe trouble with bearing false witness, and I honestly worry she’s a kleptomaniac. She told me her suitors left because they saw how in love she was with Yaakov, but she got multiple suitors to leave by offering them a night with her handmaid, Bilhah, whom, to be perfectly honest, is my illegitimate daughter. A scandal is doubly possible if it’s ever found out that one daughter of mine is pimping an illegitimate one. Let’s hope that Rokhel will calm down, but she’s a true wild child, and Yaakov has no idea the whirlwind he reaps if or when they marry. 


But here’s the real reason I had to prevent that marriage, of which Yaakov knows absolutely nothing. Hopefully my sharing this terrible secret will convince you that I’m dealing with him honestly, because if I withheld the truth until now it was best for everyone. After such a brazen prelude, I suppose it ought to go unmentioned that this secret stays between us on the pain of enmity between our houses. I’m sorry to threaten something extreme, but as you’ll realize immediately, the secret is just that horrible. 


Of course, the official record is that Rokhel is still pure, but the truth is that my furrier bondsman got her pregnant. He seduced her by making her a really tacky coat. Rokhel, thinking of no consequence, surrendered her virginity and brought shame on us all. I had no choice but order our healer to abort the baby. He warned me that after taking the potion, Rokhel wouldn’t have children for another thirty-three years. Rokhel doesn’t know that, Yaakov doesn’t know that, I don’t want them to ever find out, and I beg on the price of friendship between our houses that you never tell either. 


So instead I put Yaakov on a second, more lucrative contract of similar duration. Let’s all give this another seven years. Yaakov will stop being angry when he has kids and realizes what a great wife Leyah is and hopefully her younger sister still will stop being a korveh. If Yaakov still wants Rokhel, Rokhel will, An-willing, calm down and they can attempt that kind of romantic marriage the Jubalians always sing about. Meanwhile, Leyah will do the work of being a real wife. 


Aside from everything else, the coat was a monstrosity, it has… well… it has a lot of colors.... I can’t even give it to another tribe as a gift. 


An & Enlil and Enki be praised and all my love,


Lavan


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Dearest Lavan…….

Thank you so much for inviting me to the wedding of Yaakov and Rokhel, for as long delayed as it was, it really was lovely. The Turkic caterer was wonderfully sympathetic about my dietary restrictions, and I could not believe how beautiful the Babylonian floral arrangements turned out, but nothing could have been more beautiful than Rokhel. Was her dress Trojan?


I wish I could write seven letters to you kvelling about the wedding but I regretfully have to write you again because of something Yaakov showed me. While I was at the wedding, Yaakov showed me ten cuneiform invoices demonstrating you’ve paid him 7% his full earnings. He tells me that every time he raises a new cattle herd, he creates much better herds than yours,only for you to pull rank and commandeer his better-fed herd just before harvest in exchange for drek herds you’ve raised. Whatever the state of the herds you give Yaakov, he always creates more good herds to harvest only for you to steal his herds again. Please understand, none of this is an imputation on your skill as a cattle trader, Yaakov simply thinks you’re saving money by starving the animals - what shepherds do to their animals in private is their own matter. 


Kuk, it’s bad enough you cheated Yaakov on his wedding, but you pleaded with Yaakov to stay with your firm because of the better professional opportunities, only for you to steal his business. Every time you steal merchandise from him, he creates better profits for you out of the bopkes you hand him, only for you to leave him with bopkes again. it’s like there are two Labans. This Laban says Yaakov oughts to stay because your business is larger than ours, that Laban says Yaakov needs to stay because your business is so weak that without his help it will collapse. How can these opposing statements and actions be true? 


All Yaakov wants is to return with his family to Canaan and make an honest living. I know we’ve always had occasional trouble Lavan, but I honestly never thought you were a liar or a gonif. Please show me you’re the righteous person I always knew was there. 


Baruch Hashem and Love….


Rivka


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Dearest Rivka……….


I deserve better from you. You know perfectly well that when I took Yaakov in he was so dysfunctional that on the morning Rokhel found him he’d smoked so much hash that he was literally seeing angels walking up and down a ladder. Now, when he’s nearly ninety, he finally gets his act together and absorbs invaluable corporate experience, and that’s not enough? You remember Dad, do you really think Abba Betuel was any different with me than I am with Yaakov? 


I know you love your son, but you have another son whose scribe writes me of his treatment. Esav is doing better than ever for House Avraham, but after what they wrote me it’s a little tiresome to read you accuse me again of dishonesty. That Birthright was Esav’s by natural right, and not only didn’t you demand Yaakov return it to its rightful owner, you deliberately tricked ‘Yitzhak’ into giving Yaakov the Blessing too. 


Do I really have to remind you that our firm’s ‘tricks’ are the reason you have any sons at all? You’re the one who wanted to marry that crazy side of the family which claims they’re ‘chosen’ by a god they never see, cuts the foreskin off its babies but doesn’t sacrifice them on an altar, and thinks themselves so morally superior to the rest of the world that they whore out their wives and expel their concubines (and don’t you dare think all this ‘explulsion’ in the House of Avraham is over just because your meshuggeh father-in-law is dead). How many of your grandchildren will even be able to stay in Canaan? Your side of the family is so fucked up that your favorite son had to run away to save his life. Fortunately he had a rich uncle to employ him,  though apparently if he’s rich he has no problems at all… 


I’m sorry if my letters’ tone is too harsh, honest to gods I am, but the head of the house always gets the plumb herds, that’s the way it’s always been; you know that very well, but what you might not understand is how difficult things still are. Whatever luxury we knew in the old days of Ur, An & Enlil and Enki be praised, that’s over now. We came to this new country with nothing, and over fifteen years of onerous labor we’ve built a successful multi-empire syndicate that still isn’t half the organization we had in Sumeria, a which I needn’t remind you was liquidated due to anti-semitic discrimination. 


I’m just trying to keep expenses low, and as head of Terah House, if I didn’t take the best shares, Yaakov’s life would be threatened. You never met my son, I discipline him as best you can discipline a schnorrer, but he runs with a very bad crowd of Assyrians. If I let Yaakov keep the best herds, what defense would Yaakov have if Boer decides Yaakov’s a threat to the inheritance Boer refuses to work for? Yaakov isn’t a hunter-gatherer like his brother, and even if Boer is as unathletic as the rest of us, his friends are not, and any one of them could make quick work of your son. 


Rivka, please understand, I love you, I love Yaakov, I love Leyah and Rokhel, even if Rokhel is a hur…, and I want to see them all thrive. I’m doing what I think is best for us all, especially Yaakov, and very soon he can choose whether to be head of House Terah or House Avraham. 


As a show of good faith, I’ll tell you what I’ll do. Kharan’s annual livestock fair is in half a year. In six months we’ll have more goats and sheep than any of us know what to do with. Yaakov will get all the black ones, all the spotted and speckled ones, and I’ll just take the pure white. 


Your loving but unappreciated brother, An & Enlil and Enki be praised,


Lavan


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Dearest Lavan………….


I really can’t believe I have to do this yet again. I read this new promise to Yaakov with jubilation, it was really was wondrously generous, but I just received a letter from Yaakov relating that you removed all the non-white livestock and herded it three days journey away so Yaakov couldn’t find it. If your word was a stick you couldn’t lean on it. 


Is Esav paying you to fercockt all this? 


Rivka


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Dearest Rivka…………………………………….


I’d say I’m shocked by your tone but that’s demonstrably untrue. As I said, if my son got word that Yaakov would keep the best herds, what defense would Yaakov have if Boer decided I gave Yaakov the inheritance Boer believes to be his by natural right? 


Well, Boer got whispers of our arrangement just hours after I sent the letter. If I respect Yaakov’s safety and his children’s, if I appreciate my own, there was no alternative but to send the cattle elsewhere and stop Yaakov from taking them. 


Even if that’s what I did, even if Yaakov is furious, the security of us both hinges on each other and he has me to thank for no danger nearing him or his family. Neither he or I would be in any danger had he trusted I’ll compensate him properly at the earliest occasion, but instead he stayed up all night painting all manner of spots on the remaining livestock and I legally had to give him permission to keep them. Ever since, my son howls at me every day about how I let Yaakov grow richer than we are and how I swindle him out of his inheritance. Yaakov and I both live every day with foreboding that Boer will get Assyrians entangled in our business dispute. The Mesopotamian police will only guarantee so much security. 


The Assyrian Empire gets closer and closer, and you have no idea what they’re like. We have to do everything feasible to avoid getting involved with them. Every Assyrian’s a farbrekher. They assault their neighbors, burn their cities to the ground, then start preparations to do the same to their next neighbor. I’ve seen Assyrians slice off a man’s hands, feet, ears, nose, then make him watch as they throw his wife off a high tower. I’ve seen them behead a child, flay alive his brother, then roast a third brother over a fire. In peacetime Assyrian cities beat criminals and whip debtors to death, pull out their tongues, gouge out their eyes, impale, behead, make them drink poison, burn children in front of their parents, and not as a sacrifice! And I can tell you right now, one day they’ll come for Canaan too. 


So as you see, I don’t expect gratitude, but appreciation is indisputably what I’m owed. Every decision I make is to protect the House of Terakh, of which Yaakov is our most important member. Yaakov no longer wants to be head of Terakh House, what a shame that is for us all, but if he ever does again he’d immediately see that it’s no easier for him to honor vows and covenants than it ever was for me. 


All my love which you don’t currently deserve, but I miss Ur and remember our fatter times with little but deep affection, An & Enlil and Enki be praised,


Lavan


PS. Esav is not paying me, but did visit during his year-long hunting excursion upon my invitation, and while here, asked to marry my bondswoman, your ‘stepdaughter,’ Mahalat daughter of Yishmael, a father who supposedly no longer exists. In other words, Esav wants to marry his own illegitimate half-sister. Esav has unwittingly put you in such an awkward position that, considering your recent treatment of me, you’ll have to forgive me for being a little amused. You’ll now have to legitimize “Yitzhak”’s daughter from when he was Yishmael and your Amorite neighbors will start sniffing at why the bride of a legitimate son of Yitzhak has a father who suddenly ‘disappeared’ a century ago, is from the same town as his mother, and looks like a female version of her husband.


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Dear Lavan….


How could you not tell me that my son was living in this kind of danger every day for nearly two decades? Are you exaggerating or have you deliberately withheld what kind of neighborhood you live in all this time? You had us believe you were running a respectable business, but now you’re tell me you’re still associating with lowlives like the ones you’re hustled in Zaydie Nakhor’s barn in backgammon! 


For our entire lives, you told me I would have no mind for business because I’m a woman, and for our entire lives I’ve watched you senselessly put our family’s lives on the line just so you could make a profit. For my entire life, I’ve watched you manipulate your position as heir, your long tenure as head of the house, and your maleness to get away with the cruelest behavior. You tell people exactly what they want to hear, and do exactly what they need you not to do. What was the point of Abba and Zaydie passing over my suit to be heir to the House of Terakh if you ran the House for the good of yourself? Even when we were thirteen, I knew this is how you would run things. Maybe you’re right, maybe a woman would run this business less ruthlessly. Maybe in four blinks of an eye, the House of Avraham will let a woman run the organization and do a superior job to men like you. 


The time has arrived and long since passed for Yaakov to return. Yitzhak dropped into a coma the day after Esav’s wedding and is unlikely ever to awaken. So as it happens, with Yaakov gone and Yitzhak incapacitated, I am Vice-President of the House of Avraham. As you know, I have the authority to order Yaakov’s return without Esav’s permission - and by the way, I’m sure Esav’s marriage was entirely your idea. By my authority, Yaakov is to return to his real household immediately so he may assume his birthright and run the house of his ailing father, as he should have done twenty years ago. 


Rivka


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Dear Lavan, 


As I’m sure you recognize by the time you read this letter, Yaakov and his mishpokha are well on the path to Canaan. Within seven days of sending my previous letter I immediately realized we had no alternative to escorting Yaakov home ourselves by any means, even if it entails Yaakov fleeing under cover of night with your daughters and grandchildren and all their worldly goods (such as you let them have any). I knew you’d never show Yaakov my order and would bear false witness to retain his service forever if you weren’t stopped, so I immediately dispatched Eliezer-ibn-Eliezer to officially deliver a command of homecoming.


I am deeply unhappy relations between our houses arrived at such a place. I long for another way, but you’ve become a hazard to the security of my family. I saw no alternative and once I informed him, even Esav agreed with me. 


I wish you only the best of luck, which I’m sure you will always have, and for your household to be fruitful and multiply. B’Ezrat Hashem, such a destiny we all will have, whether in this world or the next. In the meantime, I reluctantly send you my deepest love,


Rivka


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Dear Rivka,


I had indeed realized Yaakov absconded with his family within an hour after they abandoned us, but I’d already decided to let them go and would have told them of my approval the next morning. You’d have never been able to accuse me of delaying them for a moment if Rokhel, whom Yaakov taught all there is to know about your house’s god, hadn’t stockpiled hoards of gods for their journey from my own collection. Knowing the statues would easily be discovered and how much their presence would offend both you and Yaakov, I immediately took my best horses to reach them, quickly took my gods back and said a swift goodbye to my family whom I love dearly on the best and most forgiving terms. Rokhel is now your problem, a true Jewish Arabian Princess.


I also am unhappy to read letter after letter of your taking offense to my treatment of Yaakov, but all I’ve done was for the good of my family’s good - my good is Yaakov’s good, Yaakov’s good is his family’s good, his family’s good is your family’s good. You have the luxury of contemplating our situation with 650 mil’s distance. In my position, you’d make no decision differently. You cannot tell me I’ve withheld the dangers of our situation because I know I’ve sent decades of correspondence about it. There is nothing I’ve kept from you, and while you kvelled over your son you had neither eyes to see or ears to hear the dangers we’d passed in the exodus from Ur to Kharan. Nothing here in Mesopotamia is more treacherous than Sumeria ever was, or Canaan is, An & Enlil and Enki be praised. If I spared explicit details, it’s because I know how you worry for Yaakov, but this is why I’ve consistently advised you you’re not a person of business at heart. You never understood the risks involved, you never wanted to understand, and if you did you’d never sleep. 


You’re absolutely correct, I’ve dismissed you for being a woman for a century, and it wasn’t right of me. I swear before the Divine An that I do surely repent for a century of maltreatment and plead both An’s mercy and yours; but I do know you Rivka, and whether it has anything to do with your womanhood, I know that even if you had the kishkes for running a business, being a woman would make running a family house more laborious for you than it ever was for me. You were always smart, and being perceptive and astute is helpful in commerce, but what’s essential is chutzpah of steel - which hasn’t been invented yet, but you know what I mean. You would not just spend the last century avoiding fraud, you’d spend it avoiding assassins who know that to raise a woman to household head endangers the position of every powerful man in every nearby empire. You’d have to kill them all before they kill you, because your death would be the example to every woman who dreamed as fervently as you did of a more just world. 


But to be perfectly honest, in recent years, my estimation of you changed drastically. What changed my mind was reading of how you defrauded your own son, and after reading that, I don’t know which I’d worry more about: whether you don’t have any killer instinct, or whether you have too much. Maybe you would have been the woman with the kishkes to succeed in a man’s world, but how can the woman who kills enough people to create it be righteous?


And therefore, if “Yitzhak” is in a coma, there’s no sense in keeping my deepest secret from you any longer. Had I ever related this information before now you’d have immediately told Yaakov, and he’d either leave or see through the lesson I tried so hard to teach him.


Three days before Yaakov arrived at my well, high on hash, and if you recall, without any official announcement, I received a letter from Yitzhak/Yishmael about which he clearly never told you. He ordered me to burn it immediately after reading; nevertheless I remember every agonizing word.


The original deception which gave Yitzhak/Yishmael his lifelong prosperity was nearly a century ago, but he felt shame at living Yitzhak’s life every day ever since that only grew with every decade. But in light of your family’s more recent events, he grew particularly horror-stricken by a voice in his head, different than the voice who kept company with his father, telling Yitzhak/Yishmael that deception is inbuilt into the House of Avraham’s entire future, saying that your house’s idea of only one god who rules over all creation will be eternally tarnished with an original sin of dishonesty, which will repeat itself from generation to generation for as long as the House of Avraham exists.


To be perfectly honest, I always thought the idea was a shandeh. Living is hard enough without telling people they’ll be more honest and decent if they believe in a god who controls everything, reads all their thoughts, and follows them everywhere. This dreklikh idea, supposed to redeem the world and make people act more decently and ethically, is going to imprison every mind who ever believes it. Believing in it will make people suffer more, not less, and so they’ll tell more lies, be more violent, more covetous. It’ll turn everybody who believes it into a meshuggener like Avraham.  


When Yitzhak/Yishmael saw how easily you decided to lie when you second-guessed your husband’s judgement, and how quickly Yaakov agreed to conspire with you, he knew his notion of dishonesty built into his house was entirely correct, and I don’t doubt that when Esav unwittingly married his half-sister, the terror of what he thought was a grave sin sent him into a permanent sleep.


Yitzhak/Yishmael saw that Esav was a slow learner, but he was good natured and only wanted to do the right thing. When Esav handed Yaakov his Birthright, as a joke, Yaakov immediately claimed that Esav’s joke was a serious exchange and threatened to throw the Birthright in the fire rather than return it to its rightful owner, and then hid it in a place where only he could find it. When Yitzhak/Yishmael heard what Yaakov did, he saw what he’d always suspected of his son was true: however shrewd and charming, Yaakov was dishonorable and false-hearted. 


And you not only believed Yaakov, you helped the son you love steal your the blessings and possessions of the son you love less! That was your plan, Rivka, not Yaakov’s. Thanks to you, Yaakov is the designated heir and there was no way for Esav or Yitzhak/Yishmael to undo your betrayal, but it was Esav, not Yaakov, who ran the House of Avraham brilliantly for twenty years, and the disasters you predicted for Esav’s period as household head never materialized. 


What Yaakov required, Yitzhak/Yishmael wrote to me, with underlining, was brutal discipline. According to your husband, Yaakov’s dishonest ways were due to his mother’s coddling him. You insisted that Yaakov was not cut out for challenging work, and made sure he got undemanding jobs shepherding the herds while Esav executed harsh labor in the desert of hunting large animals, which required him to be away from home for months of toil, without food and sometimes without water for days, endangering his survival against all manner of savage beast. Whether Esav has any brains, he has the seykhel for business, he has the kishkes, and he has the… 


So if Esav was wroth enough to say he wanted to murder Yaakov a few minutes after learning that his own brother and mother betrayed him, he soon recognized he didn’t mean it; and even if he did mean it at the moment he said so, he’s since repented his words and regrets them all the days of his life. 


Were you paying attention, you’d observe Esav has long since forgiving his brother and, more obviously, you. His scribe wrote me that Yaakov’s return will be welcome with a celebration of hundreds of Hittite guests. Esav has forgiven you and Yaakov, but neither Yaakov nor you have forgiven me or my deceptions, deceit that is obviously on a level more trivial than your own betrayal of your son and husband. 


Nonetheless, when I heard everything which Yaakov did, I appreciated straight away that this is a potential merchant with the chutzpah to be a great entrepreneur, but he needed to understand business’s risks, he needed to accept the price of success, he needed to grasp exactly what it means to be a cattle trader and abide all the humiliations of apprenticeship just like I did. Being a boss is no easier than being an associate. A true official of his house carries all but the heaviest stones by himself, he still picks the weeds with the bondsmen, he gets on his knees to wash the sheds, he helps clean sheep drek off the backside wool; and his hands have bloody scabs from plucking the chickens. This is the way Abba learned, the way Zaydie learned, the way apprenticeship is always done, and I guarantee was done much more ruthlessly in the past. 


I don’t expect to be thanked, but Esav assured me Yaakov will return a hero. Esav is nearly 100, claims he has enough and makes plans for retirement; and even if he stays in Canaan, you now have two sons near home who can run the House of Avraham brilliantly and make a living that keeps all your grandsons out of the slave house in perpetuity. Meanwhile, the House of Terakh has no capable heir yet, and at the age of a hundred thirty, I can’t yet retire to enjoy the bread I eat from the sweat of my face. You cannot understand how much of a burden it is to work as hard at one-hundred-thirty as you did at thirty. I worry every day that I’m smitten with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart. At times I even believe I’m hearing the voice Avraham heard all those years ago….


An & Enlil and Enki be praised, all my love, and your welcome, 


Lavan


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