(Hard cut to Scene 2)
(4 of Reb Yaakov's sons smoking cigarettes in the Jewish cemetary)
Gad: (imitating his father) They do the mitzvahs, they go to shul, they work so hard, they help their Mameh, they help your Mamehs...
Asher: Oh we help their Mamehs... (they all laugh)
Dan: Hey, roll me one too.
Naphtali: You sure? Every time I roll you a papiros sound like you're gonna huss out Rabbi Schkop!
Asher: How do you know we didn't ground der Rebbe into tabacco?
Gad: His headstone's right there! Why don't you ask him?
Asher: Why don't I?
(hear a fly unzip, Asher pishes on the Rebbe's headstone)
Dan: Oh don't fucking pish on the Rebbe!
Gad: Don't curse in the cemetery!
Naphtali: Who's gonna hear us?
Gad: You don't wanna tempt the evil eye.
Asher: What evil eye? You ever see it?
Gad: Mameh's in labor! Just don't do it today, wait to do drek like this tomorrow!
Asher: I'm not shitting I'm pishing!
Gad: Alright take a shit in the fucking ocean.
Asher: (proud) Ha! There's my tzaddik.
Dan: You still haven't rolled me a papiros.
Asher: You still haven't told us what this schlock is with that kadokhes Dreyfus.
Dan: You can read it for yourself!
Naphtali: Asher doesn't read.
Asher: Shtup ir, of course I read, I just don't like to.
Naphtali: He says the words look backwards.
Dan: Wow, we're worried about tempting the evil eye but Asher is the evil eye.
Asher: And you're gonna get it in your evil eye if you don't tell us what that newspaper says.
Dan: It's just more drek about that nochschlepper Dreyfus.
Asher: What's happening to him?
Dan: Bupkes! Like always happens! He's sitting in jail, his rich brother's giving money for him...
Asher: (interrupting) Are we sending him money?
Dan: What money?!
Asher: We have money!
Naphtali: We had money. Uncle Ezra sends less every year. You know this!
Gad: It's that apikores wife of his. She always hated Tateh.
Dan: And Uncle Ezra always hated her!
Naphtali: He did?
Dan: You heard what Shimon said. Apparently he goes to bed with a different shiksa from the factory every night.
Gad: Levi told me that when he went to help Uncle Ezra he saw kielbasa in the kitchen.
Naphtali: (sighs, stunned) What the shtup....
Dan: Did you really think Ezra was a Yiddisher kop?
Naphtali: I thought he was like any of us, only rich.
Dan: We did pretty well for a while there.
Gad: Yeh, cuz we have a reicher for an uncle!
Naphtali: Doesn't Tateh have anything saved away?
Dan: He had eleven children!
Naphtali: Well, I guess we mazel'd out. Uncle Ezra cut the funds just as we got Bar Mitzvah'd and could go work.
Gad: Some work we're doin' here.
Dan: This is arbeit! We're here trimming the grass cemetery.
Gad: This is bupkes! We should have been home two hours ago!
Dan: What does it matter? Who's hiring right now? When you have eleven brothers there are only jobs for sev...
Asher: (interrupting) Who's this picture of? (holds up newspaper to Dan)
Dan: That? That's Dreyfus!
Asher: That meeskait is Dreyfus?
Dan: Ye, that's... who Tateh's been talking about every day since we were in Kheyder.
Asher: Look at the shmattehs on him!
Dan: Yeah, he... looks like a shaygetz.
Gad: That guy's as Jewish as the shtupping Pope!
Naphtali: Look at the stripes on his fucking hoot!
Gad: And what the shtup is that mustache?
Naphtali: How can a Yid who dresses like that not be guilty?
Dan: And what's with the fucking knepls on his shirt?
Asher: Dan. Is there any way of telling from the picture what colors his uniform are?
Dan: Well, you're not gonna believe this but I once saw the French uniform on a stamp. It was red, white and blue.
Asher: Ret, veis, un bleu?! How the fuck do these zelners go into the field without other soldiers knowing where to shoot them a hectare away?
Naphtali: Even a feinschmeker like this guy shouldn't go to a barber and say "Make my mustache look like the hair over my putz!'
Asher: Seriously, why the fuck do all these alter trombeyniks give a dreck about some French faygaleh?
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