1. Thus spake Herod:
"Today is the 27th anniversary of the day Pompey sacked Jerusalem.... Why do things keep happening to Israelites on the same day as other things?.... I remember my father drinking from his Arak horn, lying in his chair, hearing the thousands of Jerusalemite screams, and feeling as though muscles relaxed in his body that he never knew were there. All of Israel wailed that day and recorded it the darkest of the many dark days in Jewish history, but records are made to be broken and so are the Jews.
This latest Aristobulus is now in Kishle... after him there's only two Aristobuluses left and one Hyrcanus. I will send this third 'latest' Aristobulous to Anthony, who will, torture and behead him against all custom within Rome's city limits. Rome is always shocked when they hear about the barbaric things their soldiers do abroad.... but Anthony was always an animal. He loves when blood spurts even more than women. Rome will blame him for the murder. Romans are supposed to be more virtuous than us brown barbarians, and my willingness to be taught Roman ways will raise me in to the grace of that beneficence, Octavian Caesar, who fancies himself magister of his provinces just as Aristotle was tutor to Alexander."
2. Here follows the minutes of Herod's first day as governor:
A. Herod summos his personal treasurer, Ishmael, along with his son Ananel who is to be appointed High Priest, and tells them the government coiffures will be replenished because the entirety of the Sanhedrin property and treasure will be confiscated today.
Herod then asks "How certain are you of your family's line of descent from Aaron?" "Absolute." "In spite of everyone calling you an Ishmaelite?" "Quite positive." "Do you have documentation?" "I..." "Anthony has a scribe in Tyre who can create any script to specification. You both will ride to Tyre and give this scribe a sealed message to recreate a calligraphy to exact specifications I set, is this clear?" "Yes your grace." Dismissed.
B. Herod received two elders who sit upon the Sanhedrin: Avtalyon and Shemaiah, whom he refers to as 'my only allies.' As gifts he presents them both with knives ornately jeweled as thanks for their efforts. Three Roman guards appear at the door immediately thereafter, and Herod tells his two allies that these men are the principales of an entire Roman centurion, all of whom will be present to help them in their task. One of them asks: "What task?"
"Soldiers will be posted as posted at every exit of the Sanhedrin chamber as their captors, but also as witnesses and assistants to what you're about to do. Roman soldiers will hold up every member of the Sanhedrin while you, Avtalayon and Shemaiah personally execute all 69 members who are not you. You are thereafter to appoint a new Sanhedrin entirely from among your family and friends. This new Sanhedrin is hereby ordered to institute a 10% tithe for every case heard."
Herod further tells them that on the authority of his new high priest, Ananel, is descended from priests in Babylon's makeshift Jewish temple, and his appointment requires the Sanhedrin's unanimous approval. "From this day forth, all rulings which benefit the Sanhedrin are synonymous with rulings which benefit Judea." Dismissed.
C. A visit from Mariam, unannounced but Herod assures, very much expected. Mariam claims she has a letter from Anthony, and the letter does have his seal upon it. This letter from Antony "requests" that Mariam's younger brother, Aristobulus, fourth of his name, be made High Priest. Mariam clearly expects Herod to be shocked, but Herod calmly lets Mariam know that he'd discussed this matter with Anthony at some length, and planned on conferring High Priesthood on her brother the whole time. Herod summoned Aristobulus, embraced him as the High Priest and gave him all the insignia. Still not dismissed at time of this record.
3. Aristobulus's ceremonies of investiture: Herod's First Shabbos
There are several hundred wealthy Judeans in the Temple courtyard. Herod, Aristobulus and Mariam stand upon a raised dais right outside the Holy of Holies. All three are dressed in linen robes of white. Both Herod and Aristobulus wear white turbans upon their heads. Herod speaks in heightened voice:
Herod: "And the Lord called unto Moses, and spake unto him out of the tabernacle of the congregation, saying, Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, If any man of you bring an offering unto the Lord, ye shall bring your offering of the cattle, even of the herd, and of the flock. If his offering be a burnt sacrifice of the herd, let him offer a male without blemish: he shall offer it of his own voluntary will at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation before the Lord.
(Three Roman soldiers enter with a bull in harness, whom they bring to the top of the dais between Herod and Aristobulus.)
"And he shall put his hand upon the head of the burnt offering; and it shall be accepted for him to make atonement for him. And he shall kill the bullock before the Lord:..."
(While Roman soldiers still hold the bull, Herod places his right hand upon the bull's head, and with his left he draws from his gardle an overjeweled knife that resembles a cleaver. Aristobulus takes it, and with both hands, slices the neck of the fully conscious bull with too much might. The blood immediately splatters upon all three officiants. The bull collapses in a pool of its own blood and repeatedly attempts to stand as its vocal chords and esophagus spill out its neck. The partially disembodied vocal chords making a whistle pitched wheeze that causes a few children in the front row to cover their ears. The attempts to stand get slower, the wheeze gets quieter, the attempts to stand turn into attempts to kneel, then slide, then breathe, then the wheeze stops, then the motion stops. The bull has died. The slaughter's taken seven minutes.)
(27 priests enter the temple courtyard, each holding 49 sticks of pine. In a single file line they approach the dais, form a circle around it and place them down all at once. They exit. Enter 54 Levites in a similar single file carrying 49 sticks of fir. They form two similar circles around the dais. In turns of 27, they place the sticks of fir atop the dais. They exit.)
" and the priests, Aaron's sons, shall bring the blood, and sprinkle the blood round about upon the altar that is by the door of the tabernacle of the congregation...."
(Aristobulus picks up two sticks of pine, smears his face with cow blood, and then paints the blood upon all the doorpost of the Holy of Holies)
And he shall flay the burnt offering, and cut it into his pieces.
(Aristobulus cuts a piece from the breast of the cow. A Roman principale hands Mariam a bowl of salt water. She holds up the bowl to Aristobulus, who dips the piece of breast into the salt water, then eats the brisket raw.)
(Enter an entire Roman centurion in single file, each carrying 49 sticks of cedar. They form four circles of 25, each places the sticks of cedar atop the the bull's pool of blood. They exit.)
"And the sons of Aaron the priest shall put fire upon the altar, and lay the wood in order upon the fire:"
(Enter 150 elders from the tribes of Judah and Benjamin, each carrying a bail of hay. They place the bails atop the bull, atop the blood, and atop the pine, fir, and cedar.)
(A Roman principale hands Mariam a lit torch, who passes it to Herod, who passes it to Aristobulus, who lights one straw from the bail of hay atop the cow's head.)
(Herod, Mariam, and Aristobulus step off the dais and into the crowd. Herod chants louder as the fire begins to kindle.)
"And the priests, Aaron's sons, shall lay the parts, the head, and the fat, in order upon the wood that is on the fire which is upon the altar: But his inwards and his legs shall he wash in water: and the priest shall burn all on the altar, to be a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the Lord."
(To the side of the crowd, Aristobulus disrobes completely and washes the blood off in water. He walks up to the bonfire, now beginning to burn. Aristobulus nakedly throws his bloody clothes atop the fire. Mariam then puts on him his new white cassock, the bejeweled blue tunic worn above it of the High Priest, and above that his coat of many colors and crosses, and above that his white blue and red gardle, his silver breastplate, his golden clasp, and his large white skullcap.)
(The fire begins to truly blaze. Herod chants still louder)
"And he shall cut it into his pieces, with his head and his fat: and the priest shall lay them in order on the wood that is on the fire which is upon the altar: But he shall wash the inwards and the legs with water: and the priest shall bring it all, and burn it upon the altar: it is a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the Lord. And if the burnt sacrifice for his offering to the Lord be of fowls, then he shall bring his offering of turtledoves, or of young pigeons. And the priest shall bring it unto the altar, and wring off his head, and burn it on the altar; and the blood thereof shall be wrung out at the side of the altar:"
(The 27 other temple priests enter single file, each holding in their right hand a string of hemp tied to a unique variety of bird, each bird suffering a broken neck, in their left hand each priest carries vials of their bird's blood. Each of them empties the vile of blood into the now mounting fire, then throw the birds in.)
(The fire has reached a full consumation. Herod shouts at the top of his voice.)
"And he shall pluck away his crop with his feathers, and cast it beside the altar on the east part, by the place of the ashes: And he shall cleave it with the wings thereof, but shall not divide it asunder: and the priest shall burn it upon the altar, upon the wood that is upon the fire."
(All there stand for thirty more minutes in silence as the fire devours itself, and then dies down.)
(Herod says at the volume of a normal stage voice.)
"It is a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the Lord."
4. Aristobulus's Ritual Purification in the Temple's Mikvah Bath: One Hour Later
Aristobulus and Herod are alone in the ritual wash room. Aristobulus in the water, Herod standing above him:
Herod Chants:
"He shall put on the holy linen coat, and he shall have the linen breeches upon his flesh, and shall be girded with a linen girdle, and with the linen mitre shall he be attired: these are holy garments; therefore shall he wash his flesh in water, and so put them on."
"Then you shall bring Aaron and his sons thou shalt bring unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, and shalt wash them with water."
"Whosoever toucheth the dead body of any man that is dead, and purifieth not himself, defieth the tabernacle of the Lord, and that soul shall be cut off from Israel: because the water of separation was not sprinkled upon him, he shall be unclean; his uncleanliness is yet upon him. This is the law, when a man dieth in a tent: all that come into the tent, and all that is in the tent, shall be unclean seven days.And every open vessel, which hath no covering bound upon it, is unclean. And whosoever toucheth one that is slain with a sword in the open fields, or a dead body, or a bone of a man, or a grave, shall be unclean seven days.And for an unclean person they shall take of the ashes of the burnt heifer of purification for sin, and running water shall be put thereto in a vessel: And a clean person shall take hyssop, and dip it in the water, and sprinkle it upon the tent, and upon all the vessels, and upon the persons that were there, and upon him that touched a bone, or one slain, or one dead, or a grave:"
"O Lord, the hope of Israel! All that forsake thee shall be ashamed, and they that depart from me shall be written in the earth, because they have forsaken the Lord, the fountain of living waters."
(Herod leaves the ritual bath room so Aristobulus can lie there peacefully and undisturbed, which he does for three seconds, whereupon a Roman soldier emerges from the water, pushes Aristobulus into the water and holds him under water sixty seconds until Aristobulus stops resisting.)
(The Roman gets out of the pool and leaves the bath house. Waiting for him outside the bath house is Herod, Shemaya, Avtalyon, Ishmael and Ananel.)
Herod: "Right, well, we gotta do all this again next week. Get everything ready. We're gonna work all through Shabbos!"
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