Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Tales of Classical Perversion:


1. Solilioquy of exposiition from Herod in which Herod tells of how he had underestimated Mariam's mother, Alexandra, who was communicating the entire time separately to Cleopatra in Egypt while Herod was communicating to Antony in Rome. All involved parties were summoned to  to explain what happened to Cleopatra, who summoned him to Cairo to Laodicia (in Turkey). Knowing that Cleopatra is venomous in her pursuit of justice for her friends, he may not make it out of this meeting alive, Herod knows he has to offer Cleopatra something inordinately valuable, not just jewels and rainment (though he must present her those) but something of great advantage. He therefore presents her the deed in perpetuity for all the balsam in Jericho, a city with enormous numbers of palm trees - and as a token of its esteem, presented her with huge vats of its essential oils. Knowing, however, that he had to rescind the command for his death, Herod put his wife Mariam under the charge of his uncle, Joseph. Should word reach Joseph that Herod was executed, Joseph should murder Mariam immediately "It is a shame, for I have grown to love the sweet girl. Perhaps I can console myself with the thought that she could be mine again in the great sheol to come." Even after Herod's offer of good will to Cleopatra, Alexandra refuses to rescind her claim and reminds Cleopatra of her oath to avenge Aristobulus's murder. Cleopatra calls for a recess during which she will consult her oracle, during which Herod tells Alexandra of Mariam's secret captivity and what will happen if Herod is murdered. Alexandra, humiliated in horror, announces at the reassembly that she withdraws her claim on Herod. 

2. In Joseph's house, Mariam was, of course, the soul of winning politesse. Joseph is clearly quite taken with her, much to the discontent of Salome, his wife and Herod's sister. It needs to be established that Salome is mean and Mariam is nice and understanding. Joseph, after yet another row with Salome, finds solace in talking with Mariam, and after a while he confesses his mission to her. He tells her that if rumor should be heard of Herod's death, they must immediately sue for Roman protection and Joseph must go into hiding or else he will be held responsible by Ishmael and murdered himself. Mariam takes Joseph by the hand and places it directly on her heart, saying "Why don't we go into hiding together? Just you and I..." After lingering on her breast for a few seconds with closed eyes, Joseph withdraws his hand and exhales "There are no words for how deeply that wish goes to my heart, but I do not dare cross Herod, even in death." 

3. Alexandra's caravan is spotted riding in the distance at the Jerusalem ramparts. Joseph immediately runs to Mariam. Your mother is here! Herod is dead. Run to the Roman garrison. RUN! You will be free in moments. "Does this mean?" "There may be time to discuss that later. RUN!" Mariam runs away. Salome however had heard the same and saw Mariam run out of Joseph's palace: "She's supposed to be dead! What plot is this? Herod's dead and you mean to keep her alive so that you can kill me in her place and take Mariam as a better wife!" 

4. But in fact, while the caravan is riding under Alexandra's sigil, Herod is riding back to Jerusalem with her caravan, as a show of good faith and confidence in his relations with his mother in law. Joseph comes to receive Alexandra with news of what happened before he stages the 'loss' of Mariam, but from Alexandra's carpentum, out steps Herod. The only person ready for this turn of events is Salome, who immediately shouts 'Mariam has run away after being unfaithful to you with my husband!" "Silence Machshefah (witch)!" "Search our palace! Seeing only Alexandra's sigil we thought you dead! Mariam is not here, and I heard my husband command her to flee at once!" "Joseph I honestly should make you high priest. You did the greatest of all possible services by taking as your wife the Whore of Babylon." "He commanded her to go to the Roman garrison!" "I am Rome and Rome is me. So long as I am alive, no one in Judea avoids the justice of Herod." "But they thought you were dead!" "There's no way they thought me dead! Joseph, I never thought you'd actually have to kill her. How could anyone possibly doubt my powers of persuasion on Antony and Cleopatra whom I've persuaded so many times in situations precisely like this!" "You literally instructed them in the case of your death..." "I was never going to die!" "How were we supposed to know that?" "Sister do you doubt your brother and king is so unloved by his friends that they would stoop to kill him?" (this silences Salome) Herod: "...Fine, Joseph send your valet to the garrison and retrieve Mariam... IF she's even there...."

5. Mariam returns from the garrison and immediately pounces. "Did you retrieve me finally to kill me? Is it bad enough you possess me in life do you have to possess me in the Gates of Sheol too?" At that moment, Herod eyes grow cold, he draws his sword and with one swift stroke beheads his uncle Joseph to everyone's screaming and weeping. He immediately calls in Joseph's slaves, calmly instructs them to clean up the blood of their master and dump his body into the valley of Gahennim. Six Roman soldiers escorted them into Joseph's palace. He tells three to escort Mariam back to the Royal Palace (such as it is...), and three to escort Alexandra to Praetorium Prison, where she is to be lodged for the foreseeable future. 

6. Herod and Salome alone. "Listen whore, I know not what you say is true. What I do know is that if Joseph told Mariam, if he even told you, if he even told someone who told you, he's capable of everything you say. If I find out that from which you are capable, you will join your ex-husband in Gahennim more swiftly than Herod meted justice to Joseph." Salome weeps and Herod leaves the room. 

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