Monday, January 2, 2023

Tale of Classical Perversion: The Rise of Antipater - Second Draft

1. The patronage of Cleopatra III, and to his astonishment, Alexander Yannaius lived his remaining seventeen years a hero, intoned by subjects with reverence by subjects Jewish and goyish. Upon death his tombstone reads: "Here lieth Yannai Alexander, Alexander the Survivor, unfortunate then fortunate, a liberator as subject to our God's caprice as Job, and a steward who served his people with goodness all the days of his life." The priest delivering his eulogy lauded him as the greatest of all Judean sovereigns since King Solomon.

76 BC, 653 Ab Urbe Conditia, 3661

2. ...The greatest until his successor - his wife, of whom so little is known but the auspicious quality of her liberatorship. We know so little of her that her very name is in dispute and there are not even legal documents by which to remember her. And yet the ten years of prosperity and achievement spoke for itself; which by appointing a council of seventy as Judea's governing judiciary. This judiciary is known forever thereafter as the 'Sanhedrin'; an institution that lasted as the definitive legal word in Judea for two-hundred years. 

3. According to both the Book of Maccabee and Flavius Josephus, the Seventh Liberator was named Salome Alexandra. According to Eusebius Polymocrates, her name was Channa Yocheved. Eusebius Polymocrates labels Salome Alexandra a mere intriguing whore in the courts of her sons: Hyrcanus and Aristobulus, who tantalized herself into marriage and philandering beds. This, however, may be the lies of jealous courtiers, or, more likely, the lies of her sons. Clearly, whomever these intriguers were, they existed, and struck all documentation of her and her policies from the record. And yet the results of her era's policies proliferate through posterity with a golden era of Judean achievement - from which the first written legal documents exist of rulings that eventually lead to Rabbinic compilations like the Mishna and the Jerusalem Talmud, to Holy Books like Tobit, Judith, Baruch-ben-Nerah. Furthermore, the 'Era of the Liberatress' begat an era of archeological digging within the Temple Mount, which resulted in the discoveries of two ancient text; one of which was The Collected Letters of the Prophet Jeremiah, the other being The Collected Wisdom of Solomon.     

4. Regardless of the Liberatress's name, Alexander Yannaius clearly wanted no repeat of his own problems of succession, and seeing the weakness inherent in both his sons, who veered greatly into ideological extremities he placed his wife upon the throne instead, and hoped over the intervening years for one of their sons to mature into judiciousness. 

5. The elder son, Hyrcanus Jonathan, took his mother's progresive liberality to extreme. The second Hyrcanus believed in the use of power and treasure to alleviate suffering in the Pharisee population, the vast majority of whom were uneducated and downtrodden. He believed in the new religious officiants, laymen scholars not of the priestly class, called 'Rabbis' - the word 'Rav' being Hebrew for 'teacher' or 'master.' The second Hyrcanus believed in appointing judges to the Sanhedrin educated in the growing body of expert rabbinical commentary, and elevating local synagogue rabbis the presidency of local councils, each of whom he would give power to veto national rulings in their own jurisdiction. The younger son, Aristobulus Simon, believed in preserving the strong central authority of the establishment. The second Aristobulus believed in an originalist legal vision that ignored all judicial precedents past the Torah itself. He wished to consolidate all legal authority into the Sanhedrin with no leeway for regional courts to countermand any national ruling. The second Aristobulus also believed that rabbis had no authority for religious ceremonies and ceremonial authority was the sole province of men born into the priestly class. The second Hyrcanus was progressive and open of character, easily suggestible, and inevitably enacted the policy of whomever was the last to present their opinion. The second Aristobulus was hotheaded of character, considered little counsel above his own, and was greatly feared by all who sued within his court; yet Hyrcanus was the first between them to enact unprecedently bloody deeds. 

67 BC, 662 Ab Urbe Conditia, 3670

6. As elder son, Hyrcanus had the rightful legal claim and was his mother's declared choice for successor, but upon the day of his mother's death, the Sanhedrin issued an immediate ruling that Aristobulus was rightful Liberator. Hyrcanus immediately went to the temple and went through with his coronation, his brother invaded Jerusalem with a Sadducee subsidized army. Most of the army was Sadducee, but as Hyrcanus still had the lower classes and their militias, he had the non-Jewish men of wealth, and he had command of the Palace of Wadi Qelt where lived all the women and children of the royal family. On the advice of Hyrcanus's prime adviser, Antipater the Idumean, Hyrcanus arrested Aristobulus's wife and children and threw them in Kishle.  

7. At the Battle of Jericho, Aristobulus's forces trounced Hyrcanus's quite soundly, and in desperation Hyrcanus had to flee back into Jerusalem, where the Sadducees already requisitioned the capital in the name of Aristobulus, struck Hyrcanus from Temple Records, and barred Hyrcanus from the Temple Grounds. Antipater, however, took the liberty of removing Aristobulus's family back to the Palace of Wadi Qelt, where they were kept under lock and key. 

8. Hyrcanus returned to Jericho, and presented himself under flag of truce to present an offer formulated by Antipater. Hyrcanus will remain Liberator and High Priest, but he will return Aristobulus's family unharmed, and would create a position for Aristobulus so powerful that not the Liberator could contravene his word. Hyrcanus therefore promised to declare Aristobulus the first ever Hasmonean King of Judea. 

9. Perhaps,  as Judea did in the day of the Zugot, the bicameral leadership of Judea might have lasted had its occupants more nobility of character, but the sons of Yannaius were too weak to effect success - one too hot-headed, one too soft-headed. All required to break Judea into civil war was a perfidious advisor of chicanery. Alongside these two mediocrities with no conception of power's use came a master manipulator who understood the uses of intrigue with magnificence as Moses the uses of prophecy. 

10. At times Antipater would claim descendence from a destitute background of pagan fisherman. Other times, Antipater claimed descendence from wealth. Sometimes he claimed his family converted a hundred years previous, other times he claimed descendance from Jews enobled by Nebuchadnezzar to Babylonian knighthood; still at others he claimed to have converted himself because an angel spoke to him in the desert while wandering away from the Sack of Idumea. There is no true accounting for his origins. The issue of Antipater arrives upon history like a whirlwind reaped. The most able man in Judea arose from Idumea's devastation to dethrone the Hasmonean Dynasty forever and put Judea to the use of Rome. Not since Joseph himself has Jewish history seen an intriguer to compare with Antipater. 

11. The night following Aristobulus's coronation, Antipater, then Governor of Idumea, arrived at the court with a forged affidavit; demonstrating proof of a murder plot against the Liberator arranged by none other than King Aristobulus. Antipater immediately convinced Hyrcanus that having created a position so powerful as King of Judea, Hyrcanus was required to be its occupant or face immediate death. He therefore had no choice but to sue for immediate claim upon the Judean throne with an outside arbiter to determine its veracity. For arbiter, Antipater suggested the King of the Nabatheans, Aretas, with whom Antipater plotted the conquest of Judea and an independent State of Idumea.  In reward for his loyalty and sage counsel, Hyrcanus promised to appoint Antipater the new Liberator. 

12. After his coronation, King Aristobulus's first act was to pursue his leisure at the Wadi of Qelt; but when the King received word of his brother's accusation, and further word that Hyrcanus sued for claim upon his throne, Aristobulus immediately organized an army to march upon Jerusalem. Hearing word of the advancing army, Antipater convinced Hyrcanus to flee immediately to the Nabathean court. The siege lasted a year but King Aristobulus allowed all the rich Jerusalemites to flee to Egypt, where they were received in great luxury. Poor Jerusalemites were left to starve and broke into the Temple abbatoir to eat the animals reserved for sacrifice. A priest guarding the abbatoir predicted this would lead to Judean suffering of limitless duration just before his head was crushed with a Temple brick.  

66 BC, 663 Ab Urbe Conditia, 3671

13. With word of this desecration, Aristobulus granted food to the populace from the Temple reserves of meat and grain so long as the food was bought. As the remaining populace had no money, Antipater advised Hyrcanus to save them by granting loans to the Jerusalemite poor, which bankrupted Hyrcanus and put him forever in the debt of the Nabathean king. Antipater conspired a further plot which he knew will cause equal consternation for Hyrcanus's brother. Antipater paid an Idumean butcher living in Jerusalem to plant a pig among the remaining Temple animals marked for priestly sacrifice. 

13. Upon discovering the pig, a priest named Onias climbed the Temple's western wall to denounce the abomination and pronounced a curse upon the entire Hasmonean Dynasty who brought Judea to such iniquitous state. As the curse was pronounced, a soldier's arrow felled Onias, and yet another revolt formented, prevented from becoming worse only by a earthquake of titanic magnitude, toppling all buildings over an entire third of the city. 

14. At just the moment after the earthquake, letters arrived for both Aristobulus and Hyrcanus, sealed by a Roman consul named Pompey. Pompey elucidated that he heard tale of their struggles, and as his current situation abided in Syria, he would be quite happy to deliver a Roman legate to broker peace between the  brothers. Aristobulus and Hyrcanus needed no sage counsel to realize that Rome insisted itself upon Judea's future. Upon arrival of Pompey's legate, both brothers journeyed into Jerusalem to meet him with golden gifts. But as Hyrcanus was bankrupted, Aristobulus had far more gifts to give, and thus the legate ruled in his favor. Antipater counseled Hyrcanus that this is a ruling he should not accept, and immediately return to Nabathea, where King Artas would provide the army he required. When the Nabatheans arrived in Jerusalem, they were met by Roman legions, and with ten minutes fighting, were compelled to retreat back to their court of origin. 

15. With no knowledge to either brother, Antipater met with the Pompey's legate, named Scaurus, and immediately after the battle offered Scaurus bribe from Nabathean King Aretas to switch Rome's loyalty to Hyrcanus. As Roman policy was all set in favor of Aristobulus, Antipater and Hyrcanus had to travel with Scaurus to the imperial office of Pompey in Syria; but when they arrived, Aristobulus was already there, preparing his own counsel. Historians ask the question to our own day, how did Aristobulus know to intercept Hyrcanus in Pompey's camp? 

16. Just as Aristobulus commenced presentation of his argument in front of Pompey, he was interrupted by a third party of rich Jerusalemites - the very Jerusalemites he allowed decampment to Egypt, who sued to let Rome arbitrate in favor of their plan to make Judea a republic after the manner of Rome. Once again, Aristobulus began his argument, only to be cut off by Pompey himself, who had allotted just twelve minutes for the matter; for he had just heard tale of his great enemy's suicide: Mithridates, King of the Black Sea, and in Pompey's desire to celebrate, ruled immediately in favor of Hyrcanus without hearing any argument. With Hyrcanus installed as King, Hyrcanus immediately offered Aristobulus the Liberatorship and High Priesthood, but Aristobulus spat upon Hyrcanus's offer and stormed away. Once again, historians ask the question, how did the rich Jerusalemites know to intercept the brothers Hyrcanus and Aristobulus in Pompey's camp?

17. Immediately after Pompey's ruling, the Egyptian Jerusalemites approached a compromise to Aristobulus: recreate Judea as constitutional monarchy with him atop the throne, so rather than return to Jerusalem, Aristobulus descended on Egypt to raise an army Pharaoh Cleopatra bequeathed. Even upon arrival to the Alexandrian court, a message from Pompey awaited him, declaring this plot and decampment to Egypt an act of war. Aristobulus and his erstwhile Jerusalemite followers, realizing Rome impossible to resist, returned to Pompey's Syrian encampment upon their knees, with as many gifts as rich Jews can bestow, and upon the moment of Pompey's forgiveness, Aristobulus arose to embrace his absolver and mid-embrace whispered to Pompey's ear "Divine Consul, I perceive the ultimate wish of your heart: to incorporate our great country into Rome's magnificent Empire. Allow me a brief moment to shepherd your flock and Judea shall forever be Rome's." 

17. It was not a week before Aristobulus, arrived outside Jerusalem's gates with Pompey in a parade atop two legions; and Hyrcanus, seeing potential for atrocious abomination, surrendered his sovereignty and opened Jerusalem's gates to Rome without condition. Yet the people of Jerusalem, lacking even a king to lead them,  rose up violently to force Rome out with no premeditation, killing literal hundreds of Roman soldiers and driving them from the city gates in a mere three days. 

18. Pompey was wroth beyond anger and bellowed his fury upon his Jewish collaborator, "You have set Rome into quagmire! A mere Jew has damaged my ascent! A mere Jew has weakened the glory of Rome! What other people will hear tale of Jerusalem and mount rebellion? Why should you semite vermin not be crucified right now!" 

"Do not kill him Divinity! He is of use. Wait until Shabbos, when the Jerusalemites are belabored with obligations to their day of rest. Some Jews would stay at their posts through all, but some feel the Sabbath is inviolate and no war would breach their commitment to their Holy One's day of rest." 

And at this moment, Antipater emerged and presented himself to Aristobulus, accompanying Aristobulus's convoy in disguise. 

"Alright, then give me the addresses of every synagogue in Jerusalem so my men can kill these Jews at prayer." 

And so on the next Shabbat, six Roman legions put their battering rams on Jerusalem's gates, entered the city, killed every praying Jew and all upon the Temple Mount. So great was Rome's prestige for butchery that innumerable Judeans climbed the city walls to throw themselves off rather than submit themselves to Roman swords, others killed their families and set their houses afire lest their helpmeets and progeny be raped and domiciles pillaged. One hundred twenty thousand Jerusalemites died upon that day, and it was not three days before Pompey took as prisoner both Aristobulus and Hyrcanus and threw them both into a Kishle dungeon beneath the ground where festered Jewish skeletons innumerable. 

19. It was a week later that Antipater descended upon Kishle's deepest cellar to visit them. He related to them that the position of Hasmonean Liberator has been forever disbanded, and Antipater himself has been crowned King of Judea and High Priest. Though how he did so remains unknown, Antipater further disclosed to them that it was he who originally solicited Pompey's assistance, he who leaked tell of Hyrcanus's journey to Pompey so Aristobulus might intercept them, and he who notified the Jerusalemites in Egypt. Upon hearing, the Hasmonean brothers could only ask him why such an intriguer would effort himself to such destructive lengths for his kingdom. Antipater reposited that the answer should be obvious to any man capable of leadership: he did so to avenge the destruction of Idumea, and swore vengeance upon Judeans long before ascent to eminence seemed even possibility. 

"You will both be taken in chains to Rome, where you'll be paraded in Pompey's triumph." 

20. After Antipater's coronation, the King took Pompey on a tour of Jerusalem. It is said Pompey inspected every street and had his scribas noted every decrepit building, every broken road, every puddle of feces, every threatening looking resident. The tour ended with an inspection of the Holy Temple, and finally of the Holy of Holies, where Pompey was the first man not Israel's High Priest entering the Holy of Holies in a thousand years. Upon entrance, Pompey is related to have asked Antipater: "What is this candelabra?" "It's called a Menorah." "I see only a menorah and air." 


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