(inside a barn with chickens, cows, goats and sheep)
Reuven: You're so fertummelt Levi.
Levi: But you don't understand how vivid they are. They have to be real! They're as real as you right here!
Reuven: OK. So are they emesdikker real or are they falshen real?
Levi: (slightly annoyed) Well they're obviously not real the way you and I are!
Reuven: So your mind is falling for your own schvindle?
Levi: (more annoyed) It's not a schvindle. (trying to explain) It's like you can see them completely, but you can also see through them.
Reuven: You should always see through a schvindle....
Levi: (quickly) It's not a schvindle! I know what these malakhim tell me are true!
Reuven: And what do they tell?
Levi: You obviously wouldn't believe them.
Reuven: No I wouldn't, but I want to hear them anyway.
Levi: That this will be the Great Age of our people. That we will be destroyed, we will lose everything, but then we'll all be saved.
Reuven: You mean like the coming of Moshiach?
Levi: Ikh veyst nit, they haven't said. I just know that we're about to live through the most important time in thousands of years.
(two or three seconds)
Reuven: Feh!
Levi: That's what they said!
Reuven: Levi I'm getting worried. Has anyone pointed out to you you might have a Lokhen Kop?
Levi: You asked so I'm telling you!
Reuven: Just don't you dare tell Tateh this. You used to be such a mensch but you're getting really weird. If he finds out you're as meshuggeh as him it'll break his heart.
(Butchers wife calls from outside the barn)
Butcher's wife: Stop shtupping kibbitzing un get back tzu arbeit!
Both of them: We're working!
Butcher's wife: You're schrecking so much I can hear it from the bodroom! Why's the door to the lool open! Why did the coos not get milkhed yet! You've only sheared three of the sheep! My husband must be paying you to kibbitz!
Reuven: Froi Wolf your husband is paying us to do our job right.
Butcher's wife: What's right about not milkhing der coos by eleven o'clock?!
Reuven: Look at how clean the chickens are. A shaygetz could pick them up and bite the head off right now.
Butcher's wife: Well then stop kibbitzing and get to the coos! Isn't work supposed to set you free!
Reuven: (joking around) Froi Sarah, when has work ever set anybody free? Especially around here!
Butcher's wife: I dunno, it's a shprikhvort around here. You musta heard it.
Reuven: Oh we've heard it from our Tateh.
Levi: Yeh. Five or six millions of times we've heard it.
Reuven: That saying's gotten more Jews in trouble than Khmielnitsky.
Levi: Sha! Don't mention his name!
Reuven: Who? The biggest merderer in Jewish history? He's been dead for two and a half centuries, he won't bother us again.
Levi: Don't ever mention his name!
Reuven: What, the evil eye again?
Levi: Do you really wanna tempt it?
Reuven: Didn't you tell me the biggest merderer in Yid history was Emperor Hadrian.
Levi: Reuven! (spits three times) Do you have any idea how bad it is to mention their names on the day Maneh's giving birth?
Reuven: Seriously, was it Hadrian or Khmielnitsky?
Butcher's wife: Oy, Reuven, how did you become such a gelernte? It's not fair to be gelernte and sheyn.
Reuven: Levi over here would tell you you're tempting the evil eye by giving me that much of a compliment, but Levi's the illui about history, I just work with him.
Butcher's wife: Levi, your Tateh's getting old, why don't you take his place in the Kheyder.
Levi: He wants to keep teaching.
Butcher's wife: You'll be zo gut at it, and you're zo terrible at barn work.
Levi: You're a real tzadeykes Froi Wolf...
Butcher's wife: Don't talk back to me meeskait! We pay you so much and the job you always do is ongepotchet! My husband's too nice and won't say what a schlechter job you're doing, but I know! We can't keep you in this barn for tzedokkeh. I'm gonna make him let you go soon and you're gonna need to find something before you turn into nishts but a kadoykhes.
Levi: Yes Froi Wolf...
Butcher's wife: Reuven on the other hand. Your brider's gonna be such a macher. You're zo smart un zo sheyn un such a mensch un...
Reuven: Froi Wolf like you said, we really ought to get back to work.
Butcher's wife: What's wrong with compliments!
Reuven: We just have to finish our job as early as possible because our Mameh's in labor heynt.
Butcher's wife: Today's the day your Mameh's giving birth! Mazel Tov Reuven! I'll bake you all a cake und four chickens and you can eat it all tonight during the l'Chaim.
Reuven: Oh... a... sheynem dank Froi Wolf.
Butcher's wife: Please though, remember to feed the lamb all that bread. Today's Rosh Hodesh Kislev isn't it Reuven?
Levi: That's tomorrow.
Butcher's wife: (to Levi) No it's today!... Well we're not slaughtering it for another three and a half weeks, for Rebbe Zilbershtayn to eat it on the eighth night of Hanukkah. He's gonna love it!
Reuven: I'm sure he is Froi Wolf.
Butcher's wife: You wouldn't believe what that Rebbitzin's done with the Rebbe's heuse. Oy, she's such a balleboos who's always so angry at the Rebbe.
Reuven: That's what we've heard.
Levi: (under his breath) Imagine that...
Butcher's wife: I'll tell you more gossip when you come in later.
Reuven: I'll be sure to Froi Wolf.
Butcher's wife: Zay gezunt till then?
(she goes back inside)
Levi: Does Froi Wolf have a... zakh for you?
Reuven: I dunno... if she does maybe we'll get paid more, and don't mind what she says, Reb Lazar knows you're doing fine.
Levi: She's a khazer.
Reuven: Levi! Don't talk about the boss's wife like that! Who's tempting the evil eye now?
Levi: I'm just saying, she's a vicious dog who looks like a pig.
Reuven: (trying not to laugh) Levi, please don't say that.
Levi: She's literally the size of this barn!
Reuven: Seriously Levi, what did she ever do to you?
(they both explode with laughter)
Butcher's wife: (from the second floor of the house) I hear you laughing!
Reuven: (shouting back) We're working Froi Wolf.
Butcher's wife: Reuven just come in and I'll be downstairs in a minute. Levi, feed the lamb! I don't want him fed too much and I don't want him fed too little and I don't want him fed too fast and I don't want him fed too slow. I'll know exactly how much you fed it so do it exactly right!
Levi: (to Reuven) Would she like to tell me how much to feed the lamb?
Reuven: Would you like to ask her?
Levi: You better go inside so she can tell you more about what a greycer neshawmeh you are and what a khamer your brother is.
Reuven: Don't take it too personally... And if the voices talk to you again, try to think of her....
Levi: I don't think the angels of God need to hear about the teivel.... Gey already...
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