Levi:
Alright Levi... just milkh der coos... if the milk gets on things, you just wipe it up. She can't tell. Of course she can't tell, and even if she says she found milk on the floor, she hasn't found drek. .....She's quite a shtik drek...
(Levi hears a chicken cluck and looks)
What's this farshtunkener chicken doing here?... I thought I put them all away.
(puts it back in the coop/lool, another chicken starts clucking)
Ach gott, there's another one... looks exactly like the last one...
(puts it back in the coop, then a third)
Was der shtup... there's a third? And they all look exactly alike!
(the third chicken is a bit noisier and starts clucking)
Hoooooon-hoon-hoon-hoon-hoon-hoon-hoon-hoon, come on, kum tzu Levi...
(chickens get louder and faster)
Oh don't make me chase you....
(chicken starts sounding articulate and saying "shalkheni ki alah hashakar" - meaning let me go for the dawn is breaking.)
(silence for five seconds)
Levi: Did this chicken just say what the Angel just said to Jacob?
(chicken goes back to clucking)
Levi: That's meshuggeh even for the voices.... Here, let's just get you back to the lool and pretend that never happened.
(a fourth chicken appears in the spot where the last one did and also says "shalkheni ki alah hashakar")
Levi: Chickens quoting the Toyrah... 'shalkheni ki alah hashakar'... let me go for the dawn is breaking... it's a miracle... And such a stupid miracle.... Well, here it is, Levi Kharlap, prophet of Hashem, was present for God's dumbest miracle.... What am I supposed to do with chickens that quote the Toyrah? Maybe they become really good matzoh ball soup...
(Chicken starts clucking again)
Levi: Oh farcockt....
(then a second chicken starts clucking, then two more, then four more, then eight, then sixteen, then a thousand...)
Levi: This is getting weird....
The Lamb: SHA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A!!!!!!!!
Levi: Great... now the lamb's talking too.
(must be background music from the Psalms here, gets louder and louder until end of the scene)
Lamb: L-e-e-e-e-e-e-vi. I am a desce-e-e-e-endent of the she-e-e-e-ep slaughtered by A-a-a-a-a-a-abel and A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-vraham. The yichus of my bloodline was used on the sla-a-a-a-a-a-a-ave doors of E-e-e-e-e-e-egypt. My ancestors were present at the death of Sa-a-a-a-a-amuel and were given to the Me-e-e-e-elech of Eretz Yisroel by Me-e-e-esha the Mo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oabite. And I must die immee-e-e-e-e-e-e-ediately. There is so little time to expla-a-a-a-a-a-a-ain, but a fault in how we say the khakham harazim brakha means that as many as six-hundred thousand Je-e-e-e-e-e-ews will soon die if you do not kill me right now, te-e-e-e-e-e-errible things are happening, and if you do not act, a ca-la-a-a-a-a-a-amity will befall the entire people of I-i-i-i-i-i-i-israel.
Levi: But...
Lamb: Hurry! It may already be too late!
(Levi panics and slaughters the lamb, we hear the knife slitting, we hear the lamb choking on its blood, we hear the blood splattering on Levi)
(music stops, all you hear is the soft slow clucking of one chicken)
Levi: Fuck how am I going to explain this to Reuven?
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