(The grandfather clock of the Wolf's house transforms into a distant church bell. We follow Shimon and Yehuda walking in the woods.)
Yehuda: It's noon.
Shimon: (sarcastically) b'emes?
Yehuda: I'm just saying it's later than it should be. Isn't it?
Shimon: It's not late.
Yehuda: But the balebos said be back by 1.
Shimon: The balebos will wait.
Yehuda: The balebos was very specific about what time we need to be back.
Shimon: The balebos will understand.
Yehuda: But it's already noon!
Shimon: It's not that late.
Yehuda: What do you mean it's not that late? We haven't even gotten daw yet!
Shimon: We'll get there when we get there. For the goyim it's noon for us it's whatever time they say.
Yehuda: For us it's noon too.
Shimon: For us it's whatever time the goyim tell us it is.
Yehuda: Well for the goyim it's noon.
Shimon: You obviously don't know goyim.
Yehuda: I've known enough.
Shimon: If you've known enough you'll know that it's whatever time they tell us it is.
Yehuda: What time will they tell us it is?
Shimon: Ask them.
Yehuda: Shimi, if the goyim think it's noon, why wouldn't it be noon?
Shimon: You're a greycer mensch Yehuda, figure it out.
Yehuda: Because...
Shimon: Becaaaaause....
Yehuda: Because...
Shimon: Koom on...
Yehuda: Because goyim lie to us?
Shimon: Emes! You got it! If we were still in kheyder Tateh would give you a stupid frize.
Yehuda: What are they gonna lie about?
Shimon: That they don't have the money, putz.
Yehuda: Why wouldn't they have the money?
Shimon: They never have the money.
Yehuda: They don't?
Shimon: That's what they always tell us.
Yehuda: But they're lying?
Shimon: They're always lying.
Yehuda: Why would they lie to us?
Shimon: You can't possibly be as much of an amoretz as you look.
Yehuda: Seriously, why would they tell us that unless they...?
Shimon: Because they don't want to pay us the money!
Yehuda: But they have the money?
Shimon: Of course they have the money! They usually have it because we gave it to them!
Yehuda: OK... Ot azay.... Nu, so how we gonna get it from them?
Shimon: We get it from them by waiting.
Yehuda: What do you mean?
Shimon: We get it from them by not leaving.
Yehuda: You mean, we just stay there? In the goyim's house?
Shimon: Exactly.
Yehuda: But won't they beat us up?
Shimon: Not every goy is a Kowalski.
Yehuda: Every goy is a Kowalski, they just don't know it yet.
Shimon: Every goy? Not every goy is a merderer...
Yehuda: Tell any goy in Bransk that we're secretly carrying bags of gold around everywhere, see how quickly those nice farmers cut through us with that sickle you got in your bag.
Shimon: But why would they believe we've got bags of gold? They see how poor we are.
Yehuda: Not all of us are poor. You been to the Wolf house lately?
Shimon: And how many Bransker live like Wolfs except Mrs. Wolf?
Yehuda: The point's there are rich Jews.
Shimon: How many rich Jews are there in Bransk?
Yehuda: Well there's the Wolfs and then...
Shimon: According to the Bransker we're rich Jews, you see us eating with silver forks lately?
Yehuda: You've been to the Rabbi's house, somehow he's living pretty grays.
Shimon: You would too if your followers insisted on giving you everything they have.
Yehuda: And why shouldn't we. A town who wants to have machers always has a rabbi who's a macher.
Shimon: How's that working out for us?
Yehuda: It would be worse if we didn't have a famous Rabbi.
Yehuda: Rabbi Schkop was.
Shimon: He's not Rabbi Schkop. He's not even related to Rabbi Schkop.
Yehuda: He will be... What's it take to become a famous Rabbi?
Shimon: Well first you need to get a Bar Mitzvah...
Yehuda: Is that the heus up ahead?
Shimon: Yeah. It's yenem.
Yehuda: What am I supposed to do?
Shimon: Zey shtil like a good Yiddisher kop, let me do the talking, and learn the ancient Jewish art of debt collecting.
Yehuda: Ancient?
Shimon: You ever hear about a shtetl without debt collectors?
Yehuda: Ancient makes it sound like it's in the Toyrah.
Shimon: Of course it's in the Toyrah!
Yehuda: It is?
Shimon: What do you think Moshe was doing?
Yehuda: Wasn't he taking the Yids out of Egypt?
Shimon: Richtig. He was taking the Yids out of Egypt by sending Pharaoh a bill of how many wages he owed.
Yehuda: I don't remember that passage...
Shimon: Neither did Pharaoh.
(we hear a large man coming up to them)
Yehuda: Are we about to talk to Pharaoh?
(they get stopped by a large man)
Polish Peasant: Tutaj sa! Here they are! Every time a family has a tragedy the Zhids are here to swoop in like vultures to drink the blood!
Yehuda (whispers to Shimon): Charming...
Polish Peasant: The Jews are here! The Nowaks are inside. You'll find there is no blood left for you w(v)ampirs.
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