Herod: Yes, have a seat.
Shammai: I presume this is about oaths?
Herod: Of course it is. Six thousand of your followers refuse to take the loyalty oath. Are you really that stupid?
Shammai: I can't be responsible for those who don't take your oath.
Herod: Of course you're responsible for it! Pharisees who abide by the strictest legal interpretations refuse to take the oath.
Shammai: Am I the Pharisees' keeper?
Herod: Well it's not like these guys have much respect for Rav Hillel.
Shammai: They don't know him as we do.
Herod: You know what I mean. They don't follow Rav Hillel's rulings.
Shammai: So?
Herod: Their legal book was written by someone named Shimon of Jamnia.
Shammai: Is your majesty implying something?
Herod: Do you think I'm stupid?
Shammai: Anything but, majesty.
Herod: You think Rav Hillel is stupid?
Shammai: Is what I think of Rav Hillel the matter of discussion?
Herod: If you're going to publish your own rulings separate from the court you can at least do it under a name that doesn't sound like Shammai of Yavneh.
Shammai: Well if Majesty is so curious, he should know that yes, I have sometimes written under the name Shimon of Jamnia, but never since I was summoned to become the Sanhedrin's chief justice.
Herod: Well, Shimon of Jamnia is surely aware that I could have you charged with perjury. Tribe of Reuben vs. Hezekiah, Yahya vs. Binyamin, these are cases the Sanhedrin heard after your arrival.
Shammai: I have not perjured myself. Shimon of Jamnia is a name that many rabbis have used.
Herod: Oh you're good. You're as good as Hillel. It's a shame we couldn't work together.
Shammai: We do work together!
Herod: We work against each other. I mean work together.
Shammai: If your majesty means what I...
Herod: Rav Hillel is weak, you know it as well as I do, I need a rabbi of iron.
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Shammai: Surely the king is not so vengeful as to kill six thousand men just because their highest loyalty is to Hashem.
Herod: I've done worse, but no. I'm not that vengeful, though I can make them wish they were dead.
Shammai: Your majesty might consider that such behavior is why they refuse to take the oath.
Herod: Oh I'm well aware of why they don't take the oath Rebbe, but since I'm so hated, I have to ensure rule of law somehow.
Shammai: You might
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